Having an existential crisis in front of someone is only attractive to socially immature individuals.

 On one hand, I suppose that

it would be the case, that I thought about attraction, in the context of having met an attractive young lady today, although I shrugged off the superficiality of the encounter by walking away. She had walked up to me, for that matter - it wasn’t quite me that had met her. 

The thing that was distinctive about her was that she was going through a borderline personality disorder moment; she spoke about regrets over having lost someone (something like that), and that she was looking for her husband - a vague reference, but in this case, it could have meant that she was already with somebody who was taking care of her. 

The point being, is that I felt like many types of guys I would imagine, in life, even at the age that we are - amongst those I had grown up with; I just turned 40 a few weeks ago. She was less than half my age. I recognized signs of that she damages relationships, on account of her not paying attention to people, and possibly, for that matter, she has an excess of narcissistic supply, in being an attractive young lady, of her sort (I won’t get in to details, for the sake of privacy). She was perfectly adept in firing up an encounter with a stranger - a useful social skill, yet I knew that I would probably fail miserably, in my own eyes, as well as in the eyes of others, should it have been the case that I try to pursue her romantically. She was engrossed with some sort of dilemma that she didn’t quite enumerate for me, and she was somewhat flighty, herself, in having so much to talk about, yet she wasn’t all that well composed, or considerate, in explaining exactly what was going on. This sort of person has problems in relationships - because they would come so easily, and to her, as a narcissist, she would be capable of easily undoing the relationship, should some kind of unsustainable distraction take her by the reins. 

I somewhat felt that I could be a simple, temporary confidant, or slight mentor, for her, if I thought of some things to say to her, although she wasn’t all that interested in stuff that I had to talk about, such as my fragrances, and stuff, although she did say that I smelled great, with the fragrance that I was wearing.

So I ended up walking away, asking her if she cared to join me, and she went about her own way, just as easily. This is the test of non-attachment qualities of a person; a thing that establishes criteria of detachment and professionalism, or maturity, in the subject of psychological wellbeing and best practices. 

Update: April 21st, 2022: despite making my best efforts to keep the young lady out of my head, the young lady seemed to pop up, in my mind, here and there, as I would make my common rounds about town, and she was portrayed as various things, in my mind - many of those things pertaining to violence and coerced sex acts, as well as other tragic outcomes for her that she would have conceivably run in to, being that she is an attractive young lady. I somewhat simply believe that many guys would act like that towards her, for having much less experience and less of a tempering of sexual attitudes; the streets are a dangerous place, at times, I felt. I also heard that she had put herself out of her home, and that she stayed with her parents, and that she was looking for her husband, for example, and that that would have been their housing accommodation - a charmingly romantic thing to suppose, and her parents had not wanted her to fornicate with a partner in life, ostensibly, in a sinful manner; that is to say, that the young lady was willing to sacrifice having access to the privileges of home for living in a tent, in their back yard. I heard things such as that she was one of the visitors to my room, where I live, where perhaps the home’s manager had been allowing people to enter in to my room, because they were fascinated by it, and perhaps she did do that, and she became infatuated with the notion of meeting with me - ostensibly, a far cry from understanding if this is true or not.

The DTLA Civic Center | Grand Park | City Hall Black Lives Matter Occupy Activism Event - Some Notes from Up-Close.

The Black Lives Matter Occupy movement is a slight of concurrent popular culture for many young people in the Greater Los Angeles area, who flock to the locale surrounding Downtown Los Angeles' City Hall, where some folks have taken up establishment of an "Occupy" basis, which is supported by various volunteers, and perhaps, through some local tax dollars, as far as keeping them fed.

One thing is for sure: these people are not here, per se, for the sake of seeking housing, such that many people might presume of a homeless demographic. Rather, these folks are here for an historical sit-in, where the popular movement that has become Black Lives Matter, amidst a tepid backdrop of that COVID-19 reports had not quite faded from the common imagination, or news feed, for that matter.

What's become of the Black Lives Matter sit-in Occupy movement out here, on the lawn, is an aggregation of various common popularly received and news-media outlet covered topics, ranging from the recent Supreme Court's decision on LGBTQ individuals receiving equal rights within the context of the workplace establishment, George Floyd's controversial death at the hands of a police officer, and of Breonna Taylor's untimely death. 

The campers, themselves, are quarantined off, loosely, in their perimeter within the Grand Park Event Lawn, by short metal fencing, where artistic renditions of what matters to protesters are hung, for decoration, and for the sake of offering a voice to the otherwise mostly silent tent camp-in community that's established itself out here, on the lawn. Other than that, the park's daily activities that had been in play, prior to this Occupy movement taking reign over some aspects of the park, go on, regardless of the activism installation that is the Black Lives Matter ongoing protests.

Then, inevitably, at some point in the late afternoon, the activism movement's assembling street marchers take to the roads outlining Grand Park, nearby City Hall. They march and chant, under the directorship of a man with a bullhorn, who leads the group in a collective ideation and evocation of what the purpose and credo of this activist assembly confers, unto the public, within earshot of the movement's manpower and social and civic impetus underlying the group's ideology.

Over in other parts of town, broken windows and shuttered businesses confer a tale of a more sordid assembly establishment, of that which is the trepidation and untimely failures, for some business and retail establishments, for the sake of being incapable of sustainability and basis foundry of keeping faith in the longer-term outlook for business, which has affected establishments across the spectrum of business economy. 

Now, nearly two years later (mid-April, 2022), 

There are some faint echoes of the as-of-yet still somewhat contentious racial unrest, in the society that comprises the Los Angeles, California, USA landscape. Here and now, at the lawn in front of City Hall, at Grand Park, the park is renewing itself, of its former days of people walking their dogs, there’s birds to be fed, and the park is generally open and being used by the public. I didn’t get a chance to connect with anyone who was part of the park’s occupation movement, mostly on account of that there were barriers to communication, such as “actual” physical barriers, as well as that I’d observed some hostility and in-fighting amongst the occupants of the park, during that time. Race relations are still, in some demographics, quite arcane and rigidly defined, or disregarded, in how racism displays itself, still; rearing it’s ugly head in unexpected ways, that it would. As for myself, I am tasked with the premise of that I’m the pigeon-feeding bum, out here, as my most standard self, of coming out to downtown Los Angeles, from my home, in South Los Angeles, yet I still do - here and there, experience a bout of literal homelessness, even though I am housed. I say: it’s on account of discrimination, yet it’s a seething issue of some other obscure nature (somewhat); I call it a lack of sobriety, or maturity, or cultural exposure and tolerance, perhaps. 

On one hand, out here, I generally tend towards that I “don’t” typically experience acts of discrimination, although my housing situation exploits the concepts of that racism still looms large, in various ways in which I can just “simply infer” that people see me as a simple and slight person, made up of my appearance and cultural heritage, which at times, becomes a trifling subject for the “locals” out in South Los Angeles - which is a place of a different sort, from the bustling big city, small town, that comprises downtown Los Angeles, in that - here and there, at times, archaic attitudes persist, which become visible in prejudiced and discriminatory behaviors that I’ve come to have observed. Today, here in 2022 (this article was originally authored on June 25th, 2020), we’ve been on a long journey - through unrest that had began it’s boil, following the civic unrest of many large cities across America, and later, through the more long-standing effects of the civil decrees that were laid out as part of the plan to combat the COVID-19 pandemic. 

My take on what’s left of the dilemma of failing race relations? Don’t make it about race, per se. Make it a topic for open conversation, if need be, but be equitable and just, in speaking of, or on - the matter of race. Many people, in this enlightened age of access to information and culture, burgeoned by the knowledge base that is the internet - slighter and higher levels of intelligence can be pursued, and attained, while greater opportunities are afforded, even still, after the Federal Pandemic Unemployment Award money had been distributed, as well as the economic stimulus payments - all of those things were a boon, to us, as Americans. We are all Americans, in that sense - I believe that we ought to seek a common identity, rather than define ourselves by what conceived of us, perhaps little more than that, as it would come to be seen, I would surmise, in the current day and age, and in to the future, for the fact that we are creatures, now - capable of intelligent design, rather than natural selection, or selective breeding, per se. Let the distinctions and nuances of knowing each other, and one another, be the measure by which we relate unto ourselves, and thereby forge our identities, while keeping true to our American heritage, for all it stands for, rather than seek to discover what makes us different, and thereby perpetuate the disparities between us, as individuals, and as representatives of our culture.

Product Review: Biscoff Crunchy Cookie Butter.

People always wonder what they should feed their pigeons, in order to improve their behavior, boost their health, and to engender courteous behaviors between themselves, within a flock. 

Since pigeons will eat nearly anything their beaks can manage, there is a huge amount of variety in foods that will delight a pigeon flock. Some caveats that I’ve encountered, however, are that they do not particularly like large items, items put in human receptacles (with some variance; I’ve seen wild pigeon flocks that are trained on bowls of water), and some colorful items, such as artificially-colored cereals will turn them off. In general, their natural diet would be comprised of seeds, and perhaps bugs, but in this day and age, pigeons are largely intrinsically intertwined with their human caretakers, and their diets are largely determined by what people choose to offer them. 

That being the case, pigeons are always hungry. They’re capable of eating three meals a day, even, in some instances. Choosing a variety of delectable foods for a flock of pigeons helps out in many ways: I’ve observed less bickering and chasing around of the younger and less dominant birds, upon providing flocks with better food, more consistently. Peace and harmony in a pigeon flock is largely something that can be created by design, as caretakers of the flock, and the foundation of a genetically competitive and diverse flock is ensured by keeping them trained upon their finest caretakers; sometimes, I see scraps of bread that other people had tried to feed flocks of pigeons that I care for, personally, and it appears that the meal had been disregarded, perhaps for the fact that I make sure to moisten their bread meals with sweet, syrupy milk, with added flavors. 

What about even more variety than milk and sweets on their bread? One of my personal favorite treats (for myself) is Biscoff Crunchy Cookie Butter - it literally is cookies, made in to a peanut butter-like consistency. It’s a wondrous delight to taste, and it’ll keep a person company at night, for midnight-snacking searches around the home. There are varieties of Biscoff Cookie Butter, but I like the crunchy version, because it has little bits of cookies in it. Try some out, and why not treat your local pigeon flock to a tasty snack? They’ll adore you for it.

The Psychological Criminality in Unstructured Remote Communications Intents.

Being that I was not formally brought up with any nurturing environment instructions upon, nor mention of beliefs associated with remote communications and remote electronic psychological abuses (as they commonly presented to me as), I constantly falter in life, of failing in properly accommodating circumstances tantamount to attended to a “perceived” crisis, that it were; that it commonly is, as a topic portrayed to my senses. 

In my upbringing, the sanctity of the human body was educated upon Christian morals, beliefs, and values. 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?

25 Bible Verses About Body Is A Temple (NIV) - Reformed wiki

While the technology upon which remote communications and remote sensing is founded upon had existed for perhaps around 80 years, or so, at this point in time (2022 A.D.), the adoption of such technologies had been fed through various nations’ intelligence programs, and I commonly observe fervid nationalists of a foreign intelligence (non-traditional - within the context of an American upbringing of this generation, our cultural heritage, as Protestants, and as standardized in United States of America’s public school teaching). Remnants of first-generation immigrant parents’ cultural disparities and arrogance are diagnostic criteria seen in schizotypal and narcissistic behavioral and personality disorder-symptomatic individuals who (believably) present positive symptoms of schizophrenia, and of the general will, belief, and volition to perpetuate the psychological faux pas of asserting superiority, dominance, aggression, and persecution upon a targeted victim.

The laws of entropy are correlative, within this type of personality disorder, in understanding a formative and fundamental basis in establishing a behavioral conditioning methodology and engagement protocol in reprimanding the psychopath at issue, whereas, in my case, as an observer and victim alike, in remote communications disputes and targeting, I persist through the crisis and trauma, generally as a patient and perseverance individual, whereas I also, over extended periods of experiencing such a criminal sort and extent of improper attention and sociability, oftentimes find myself defaming people publicly, in hopes that the threat of social shame, in consequences, would eventually condition the perpetrator suitably, once I had come to establish a generalized belief that anti-social characteristics and personality traits could reasonably and historically have had been established - formal and commonplace methods of communications having failed in eliciting a response from the individual.

Remote Sensing Environment User Deprecated Practices - The Freudian Slip of Doing Something as Though It Matters

In remote sensing observation and participatory environments, there may (at this point in time, within the cell that is collectively managed and occupied by myself) be seen to be an undesirable degree of conflict resolution abandonment. 

Details aside, the more fundamental calculations and consequences of the pursuit of adversarial techniques in psychological abuse in socialization through remote sensing, is the higher imperative. Being that the victimizers fail to improve their outlook in life, and aberrant psychological dilemmas of a dark nature persist in the perpetrators’ lives, rather than that joy is found amongst community and society. 

In this day and age of technology, where intelligence can be nurtured and developed upon the extent of resources, with lateral and vertical markets of human collateral in knowledge base and servile utility, much more rational and equitable identities are a more sustainably beneficial and productive ethic to pursue, whereas rewards in technological developments of third parties and oversight committees, such as increased cloud compute attributions and merits, of being afforded the cost of time, energy, and human resources becomes a more viable end and means, in life, in an economy of otherwise uncertain and aspirational “still (at this point in time) context, within the scope of social status attainments, financial wealth, and in many aspects of personal wellbeing, whereas materialism and experiential devotions compete with each other, as a primary theme of much of the conflict that had been observed, up to the present time. 

In to an indefinite future? The question, in and of itself, is a quandary, much to be likened to a long-standing characteristic of the substance abuser, of emotional abuse, to mental health stability’s uncertainty - in a likewise deprecated practice of “promise,” which loses significant worth in a social economy that is not founded upon honest and forthcomingness in humility, whereas people value detrimented and misfortunate superficial gains in life, upon abnormal psychology fixations, such as the pursuit of narcissistic supply - a pleasurable environment to stage upon, yet faulty and superficial, on one hand, cruel and unnecessary, on the other hand. 

With psychology at topic here, I had established, upon reflections and reflexes, of my psychological standard, as much as that these dilemmas; dilemmas and conflict, even, (perhaps), of a fundamental nature, to form a corollary residing trait of literature that reaches back as far as Sigmund Freud’s writings and finding; my experience being drawn up, and designed upon the machine learning environment of “having experienced” being a social psychology observation subject, with psychological abuses towards me being as that the subject is deemed to be a favorite (so to speak) of a persecutory agent [redundant]. All things considered, not all of us had studied university level introductory psychology, which would, of course, mention and assign the works and findings of Dr. Freud, nor had many people gone through conflict resolution courses in life, which would reasonably suit an emotional maturity milestone age demographic tending more towards early teenage years, in society, with “teenage angst” seeming to be an accessibly familiar claim upon this assertion. 

Given that my recent dispersions that had acquired and developed much attention, appreciation, and fascinations, of an excretory “topic” nature about the context, a Freudian claim upon the underlying psychology at issue here is quite apparent. Being that abuses, of a remote sensing tactical nature, lend themselves to a “standoff” type of portrayal and representativeness of itself, I offer the victim’s experience as evidence, to an assertion, for as much as that bathroom duties of simply even “getting up” to use the restroom, as a trait of what is considered common and accessible for people of our society - it leans in to violations of basic human and civil rights.

Traits of a well-intentioned child’s upbringing.

 As we know, and honor, here in the United States of America, with the “First 5” program, which was fostered by the Bush Administration: 

A case for defending Russia, throughout the warmongering of early 2022,

 It’s a quite easy topic to nitpick at, on one hand, but regardless, look at some of the news topic trends that make headway, out here, in the U.S.; in Los Angeles, at a minimum. 

I’m referring to the staged displays of pompous destruction, the “right” of the madman, the mob rules directives and concessions that are made, and what; all that much, of Los Angeles, by and large, is greatly changed, over the past several years? On one hand, we don’t seem to know all that much about Russia, collectively. I happen to be a slight insider in to the culture of Russia, having had been acquainted with, befriended, and eventually having married, for a short time, a young native Russian lady, who happened to speak English quite well, and intelligently. (We broke up because I couldn’t stand her having her free time, and I was a distrustful crack cocaine binger, throughout the whole thing - she lost her patience with me on that sort of context, about things). 

Some pics pertaining to that stage and time of my life.

First of all, I’ll cover some things that are good about Russia. I’ll assume that perhaps this whole news story “coverage” thing is just collateral damage, for shipping them our dope, or something like that, and things had to turn up bwammo, for the sake of propaganda - even just “perhaps,” as such, but that’s what’s coming to mind, in writing this out.