An open-ended apology, for recent personal shortcomings.

 Being that I run a .institute, there are certain expectations and responsibilities to uphold an ethical purpose, in the course of my doings and daily life, much of which is intermingled work and personal life setting and environment. I’m expected to behave responsibly, and not mar the public-facing image and reputation of the company, which is led by myself, and, as such, it ought to stand on its own. 

Recently, I had a counter-intelligence tactical ruse set upon me, and I became caught up in the moment, and somewhat subject to entertaining uncommon and unbecoming temptations. All things being said, some people like to exert power over others, and witness the outcomes of having influenced somebody into foolishness. This was the sort of circumstance I found myself in, and fortunately, it ended up just being a cold night out, for myself, and a homeless person’s day, out on a lawn, somewhere in West Hollywood. It could have been worse. 

I’m asking, in essence, for a less stimulating set of expectations and circumstance for myself, as I’m largely on the brink of absolute poverty of various sorts. Sure, perhaps I do well, at joking around, at times, but I do fall victim to certain types of shortcomings, but all in all, I’m fairly astute and well-intentioned in many of the things that I do; I wouldn’t do better to pursue some sort of personal identity boost and prominence of fame over virtue, in other words - I’m a good working-class man, not a public figure, per se. I can’t reasonably fulfill all expectations of myself, and keep on with a proper personal conscience and a respectable reputation, if I indulge in pleasing some people’s intentions and influences upon myself. Some of these things cause contention, and being that some of these things are superficial desires, there’s oftentimes little care, as to the outcome of what pleases people’s momentary fascinations and interests. 

Let’s be spirited about the greater picture in life that we have, as Americans, and Build Back Better, as our nation’s leader would have us do, and not joke around so much. There’s work to be done. Not everything that comes to pass deserves being commemorated, but please try to uphold an honorable reputation and influence over others that is considerate of the common good and need in society.

The Rise of Social Work Policy Implementation in Los Angeles, CA, USA in the 2020’s.

 Some people may have been left wondering: 

What happened to things, in the way that they used to be handled? 

All of a sudden, acts and behaviors that used to seem unthinkable; distant from the perceiver, separate, as that such things would seem to fall into and encompass other people’s lives, rather than our own, become, by various means of introduction, induction, and casualty, therein, more familiarized, with more personal relevance, proximity-wise, and with threatening impact upon the subject’s personal sense of security and risk potential. Increased risk upsets former plans, aspirations, and partitioning of resources of a person, caught unaware. 

In Los Angeles, California, USA, we are considered to be a melting pot societal destination and lifestyle of culture afforded to us. The types of threats that seemed further away and separate from our lives are perhaps calculated out in risk-aversion methods, such as various forms of purchasable insurance policies, as far as that a generalized consumer solution could be imagined. The sorts of endowments afforded by such measures are significant: therapies, of various academic, professional, or medical licensure, degree, or certification - for example, are some of the benefits that are more easily within reach, given various forms of archetypal, or “standardized,” (professional, for example) upbringings, or lifestyles, given that work benefits such as private medical coverage are included, subsidized, or incentivized, as part of an employment package. Growing up as I had, I had medical insurance benefits that saw to it that I received orthopedic work, dentistry, and mental health therapy and psychiatric oversight, as the most prominent needs that were accommodated during my childhood. 

Despite this, nothing could have prepared me (as I’d “put it,” off-handedly), for the onset of schizophrenia in my life. It hit me like a traumatic, persecutors shock experience, with none of the perpetrators owning up to the fact that they had ever -and continue forth, in committing towards me, as well as my loved ones; even casual and professional network connections and contacts - to this very day. The corollary to this stand-off(-esque) claim about these “others” is that they “do” admit to doing these sorts of things (such as “being” the voices in my head), yet the whole dilemma and drama about anything to speak of, whatsoever, happens - yet even still: as voices in my head. In person, these people would never admit to doing these things that they find to be characteristic of conflicting attitudes and behaviors; even defiant and oppositional - on one hand, the people “do” realize that their acts are, at these problematic episodes, at issue: shameful, spiteful, cowardly, bold, and fearless, however intermittent and unsustainable these feats of grandiosity and delusion may be. On the other hand, the characteristically borderline personality disorder and anti-social traits of the behaviors are denied, in to indefinite extents, unto life, still to come. It’s a primary shortcoming of character such that is deemed to be one of the hallmarks of a failure, in the contexts and standards of the 12 Steps literature of recovery, self-help, and sobriety.

The voices had begun in the week, or so - in particular, leading up to September of 2012, and for the days beginning the month. I quickly became ensued in a cruel, militaristically styled, public-shaming sort of forum and by-and-large witch-hunt sort of atmosphere and thematic emblems of figurative form and composition, as far as what construed the content of the voices I was subjected to. It sounded like a dramatic, real-life exposé of network news personalities, talk show programming public figures, as well as what seemed like viable “actual” civil servant authorities - all taking jabs, by and large, offering negative conditioning, as the defining folly of man that was come to be celebrated, and practiced - myself, fairly much illiterate in this sort of conjectural drama and persona - whereby, since then, I’d become an intermittent Twitter demagogue, bordering upon a technological golden age’s banner flop-job; a court’s jester, of sorts, where abuse had become the new standard of interaction (attempts), defilements and ever-higher stacks upon brinksmanship, in displays of irreverent and unproductive flouting of the people’s common ego, and observation-participant thresholds of standards of acceptability were pushed to unexpected limits, and beyond, at times, for the fact of the matter of that, in many cases, the wins and gains were short-sighted, and cheaply won, being that men were made better, by those better than them, through the machinery at use, in these cases, and few people had much of anything of a long-standing intelligence to be gained, or admired, about these sorts of “stand-off” situations, as I’d put it, before, whereas I was more well-founded upon trying to eke out a better self, of some sort, that had peeked through the hours of neglect, abandonment, and disregard, and little by little, I embodied the better traits of men and women who treated me properly, and appropriately, regardless of the tone of voice, or authoritativeness that would be construed, from such a sort of treatment. 

That being said, the backdrop to the hysteria and paranoid establishments that had embedded themselves, with subversion at the forefront of design, and sometimes, with malicious and reckless blind-sighted goals, of a slapstick nature, as less well-intentioned, less skilled, or less educated people took the helm of controlling my mind, at times, seemingly also of that I was being observed by numerous, unspoken others, of any and all types of relations, in life, was well-provisioned, in the nearly-popular culture literature and publications, of news media, and of the blogosphere - I’d suppose that esoteric topics have their place in time, for many, or several - at least, different types of odd and obscure minds, and this moment happened to include me, as one of these monstrousity-victimized, problematic sorts - hyped up in the news articles and publications of the time, as symbolic forms and archetypes, such as the Monarch, or the butterfly - something like that. There was extensive “cult” literature, to that effect, that somewhat expounded upon the then-more “secret,” less-well disseminated information and documents (until this point in time - it was a point in time of intrigue and exposure of formerly classified programs and documentation - with the age of the internet coming of age, of sorts, and with people’s minds, in the digital world, having become curious as for solutions and answers in life, with regards to psychology and identity typology kinds of distinction; forensics, semiotics, and persona errata being valuable subjects of inquiry and discovery, for the young millennial generation). 

At some point, long story short, (I’d documented it, largely, on my Twitter and Facebook accounts “back then,” the madness and criminality that had consumed my life, post-onset of positive schizophrenic diagnostic criteria (2012) - caught up with me, and I’d failed in life, in terms of a more material consequence that had overcome me - various incidents and episodes of incarceration, probation, involuntary hospitalizations. I’d said that it constituted failure, perhaps mostly as my experience of these times spent removed from society, on account of that so much of my life was fulfilled and better accommodated in the form of technology, the internet, and through devices that I’d used, over the years. A recurrent theme of my persecutors was that I’d lived a life too rich, too young, and too familiar and relative to themselves; whereas I’d neglected them, or abandoned them, or at least the claim, thereof, whereas I was an oblivious, and criminally incompetent, “cad,” as I’m sometimes currently called. 

In any case, the issue of politics, of the lower and lesser social classes, of a proximity fallacy of presuming that being physically nearby an event supposes that it’s also more primarily significant, impactful, or important - some or one or all of these traits, about the situation; is it me? Is it us? What’s so important, somehow? Who really cares? Who really knows? Who isn’t somewhat similar, at least in some contextual expanse, of a topic subject… is this moment the defining moment of creation, itself? For some humor-infused, turn’t up “cadres” of “guys,” or “people,” (although the problematic people, for me, are commonly guys, but here and there, some women seem to have a problem with me, or about me), it appears to be the case, as that the thread about this paranoid schizophrenic positive symptoms diagnostics thing pops up, in the forefront of my mind, as that sometimes, women are known to henpeck, and be gossipy, behind my back. I’ve tried peeking, to see if people are actually talking about me - on one hand, the concept and notion of it “exists,” per se - it is a thought that I experience, in my head; or, more truthfully, rather, it’s an experience that I perceive - distinct, in formative nature, from a “thought,” in and of itself - for that it has a cognition and volition completely independent of any expenditure of energy of my own mind - quite a novel thing, for a guy who’s most commonly a loner, and introverted, as I am, yet only sometimes. It’s this sort of reality interaction that’s so commonly under observation and scrutiny - a novel thing, in and of itself, yet, at times, scarce, whereas we live in a world where human interactions are commonplace and widespread displays that we can peruse and experience, this being Los Angeles, CA, USA, a world unto it’s own, at least, in miniaturized form, if we are to recall that we are also a global society - rich in culture and imagery, and not always cheap. Remember the formative traits of good economics - there is worth in scarcity of supply, implying that a thing is valuable, for what’s offered, and for what’s being offered, for ownership, or experience - something along those lines. 

Anyways, I’ve said a lot. I don’t suppose that people would hold much of a candle for my overextended claims and statements, as far as right now. Maybe something else… something more accessible, and stuff. Maybe I’ll update, later on. 

A 12 Steps 9th Step Reflection - What am I supposed to do when people simply can’t be honest with themselves?

 Being a situational minority, [living in South Los Angeles] myself - “visually” (although only “somewhat;” I do sometimes get myself casually mistaken for being Hispanic), I get a lot of flack. 

It’s the kind of thing that would have potentially framed our collective and generalized minds, for having been part of the dragnet downward spiral that so many of us face, for having this faulty, anti-social, mistaken, misfortunate, misgiven, mistreated, maladapted, disregarded, or sometimes, we were simply just the one picked out to be bullied upon, for a long stretch of life. Many of us, in the smallest demographics, here - the 1-4%ers; the silent intelligent minds, the secretive genius, the condescending outperformer, or some sort of spiritual misfit, perhaps. 

As the fungus, for the sake of wood rot - in healing the stuff of nature that consumes us, as the tree of life, perhaps, that we, as intelligent humans are, we tend to a greater sustainability, for having made the sacrifice that signifies and represents our material loss in life - for nature to persist.

I was some sort of combination of these things, to varying degrees. My teachers might commonly have characterized me as an “A” grade mind, but a “B” grade achiever. It would be quite ostensible, as such. I was hit, as a child, and treated cruelly, at times, by my parent authority nurturing environment. Although I was young, I knew, intelligently well enough, that I was being mistreated, and that there was an unreasonable expectation of that I ought have not violated whatever boundary it was that I had pushed too far on, in acting out, or whatever the case might have been. That was back when I was around age 6, or so, when I started to come to understand that I was being held hostage, of sorts, and that life is a cruel endeavor, at times. My happiness and enjoyment was ephemeral, and sadness came as a much more common and ostensible expectation of myself

Now, at age 39, I do broadly superficial gestures towards a mindset of reserved superiority, should that card need to be pulled, in order to one-up myself, in a situation, whereas I’m narcissistic, at times, and I feel that simply accommodating others I come across, superficially and casual that it may be, I do have a somewhat limited basis and “license,” as it were - to engage with, and exchange acquaintanceship with, as far as how I might ever (or, actually) expect to get to know a great many more individuals in the localities in which I frequent. On some level, the diversity of Los Angeles, and surrounding areas, is a beautiful thing - we get a small taste of it, here and there, as children - some of us had interaction-based socialization profiles, some of us had cultural endowments, of our learning and travel experience, in our youthful developing years, and others - well, to be honest, I somewhat simply don’t quite know. There’s not much in terms of disclosure, when it came to so many people. It was bwammo; butt shittle, for sure, and bwopp dick? Plik plok. 

That’s essentially how I do some people. What else am I supposed to do? They seem to realize it, and they truly just go for it, in this slight game of alluding to a secretive shame of non-disclosure of what’s humble and slight about us; each unto ourselves, but as for myself, I feel as though I’m simply capable, in being an honest person, whereas I seem to attract a lot of pent up frustration and aggression towards me, as well as to my personal belongings, possessions, art work - even my right of way and freedom of volition, out in public. Ought I mix it up, a bit more, and get out of town, for that it’s slight localities that I frequent? I’m trying to do something with these pigeons and sparrows, though. I feel that that’s the crux of what separates and distinguishes me from these “others,” casually “majority” that they might be, for as ephemeral and unsustained that it might be, when it comes down to constancy, faith in, and loyalty to a purpose - it’s sometimes that it is quite obvious that people had been talking about me, in some group or networked small and trivial collective or establishment of people - on the other hand, I have the largest demographic of spiritually faithful compatriots that I might believe exists, for being a Christian man; perhaps here and there I entertain discovering various nuances of the faith, and demonizations, but these are simple numbers and statistics that we had all grown up with. 

Somewhere along the way, young people had decided that popular beliefs and establishments were disdainful, and averse to the common man’s wellbeing, whereas true wellness was largely characterized as a shameful “hurt” area; it hurt to have affections for others, to achieve, in the face of others who had not serendipitously found good fortune, well enough for everyone’s attention spans (how commonly does serendipity happen?). People who had achieved some good or gainful new establishment, as for their own take - were seen as the rightfully scapegoated ones. That’s how I feel, in any case. It happens to women, of a certain sort, all the time, and who likes to be incorrect, or improper? It’s a humbling thing, for many - discovering the consequence of “God’s” purpose and judgment in our lives, yet I hear confessionals all the time, and I have my own notions as to how and why these sorts of interrogative processes come to be characterized and fixed in to the mind of an unwell and unstable psychological archetype - ephemeral that it may be, it does happen quite commonly, for the great many amongst the few of us, that there are, in some instances. 

The truth is most commonly a great and celebrated thing; it’s a thing of joy, good humor, and elation - good people can’t imagine something so awful and horrid, such that it ought not have been done. At what point does the unrelenting bold one simply cease to persist in asserting dominance over differences between themselves, and a great many others? People have access to richly developed minds and intelligence forms of much of history and establishment that has been recorded in some form, whether it be visual, artistic, literary, or of the other ways and means in which we communicate and confer symbolism and meanings unto others. 

A practical, real-world corollary to my previous post, on the MKULTRA program. (Update)

In this cutting edge and (as-of-yet) still largely ill-understood context of mind control

and of relevant government and intelligence agency programs and implementations of such, thereof, my previous post seemed to have foreshadowed some requisition and atonement, for that the context of mind control, and its subjects, being myself, and some of those amongst me, having become a needed issue to have been attended to; to my appreciation, what had been a developing and complicated issue, in the context of the subject (my [group home] neighbor): Omar Andrade having, of recent weeks, become a commonplace and recurrent sleepless madman, he thence had, just yesterday, become subject to his more primitivistic, subconscious, and limbic-minded self, in presenting himself as an individual who had lost control of his inhibitions and rational awareness in life, as a relentlessly outspoken and violently hostile and aggressively-willing mind control aberration. 

It was the first thing in the morning; as for myself, not the most astute time in life to wake up and start the day; it was perhaps 9 a.m., or so. I had, in my youth, more commonly had been accustomed to waking up earlier to start my day; yet I would offer that I’m constantly subject to victimizations, of a mental health disparagement, and, as such, I simply have shortcomings about my life, to attest to, and for that matter, I, in turn, am given license and disclosure as to who displays a lack of social and emotional intelligence, in my proximity, in life, for claims (which seem common) of that such shortcomings and presentations of myself “don’t matter,” or come to be disregarded, being that these are complex issues, obviously, to discuss and intelligibly manage. It’s simply what I had been accustomed to encountering, in making my case known to what establishment and personnel are afforded to me, being that I am a mental health services and benefits recipient, in terms of government programs that were offered to me; as such, and rather, though, as these benefits, such as housing and case management, are received - at this point in time, not all of the mental health service establishments - such as housing, in particular, have sufficiently professionally-licensed and appropriate personnel providing the fulfillments of the mental health program: here, in Los Angeles County, under the LACDMH (Department of Mental Health) program known as Full Service Partnership, in which housing, case management, medication, and perhaps some therapy and psychological (or, at least, psychiatric) behavioral services are provided for individuals. In its fulfillment, as for myself, I do receive these basic services, although mental health abuses are still murky territory, in the criminal justice system, as for who, or how, or even that: mental health abuses are properly addressed - that Omar Andrade, for one, had been a developing and ongoing mind-control aberration, most ostensibly, was an issue that was seen to have been “negligible” in needs-to-be addressed [sorts of] priorities, as far as people I could, and did, reach out to, as far as seeking support in attending to this (acute) crisis, that it had come to - yesterday morning (Wednesday, January 2022), that it was.

Omar Andrade had, for weeks leading up to this acute psychiatric emergency, in which he displayed Axis-1 symptoms of psychotic disorder, consequent to substance use disorder; also having displayed a lack of interest in eating, at proper meal times (eating disorder), and of that his behavior was commonly, and increasingly unstable and hostile towards others, sometimes of an unseen nature, of which I would discern to be the mind-control program’s evidenced presence in his mind, whereas he was a difficult individual to reach, due to an Axis-II sort of behavioral disorder portrayal of himself, in (as far as my own attempts to reach him); his incapability in, or refusal to: show a common courtesy to his housemates, and a lack of empathy and intelligence about displaying any sort of rational regard to a person’s sense of dignity and perhaps superiority over himself, that may be the case, in various instances, whereas he would portray a somewhat playful courtesy to someone in an already established position of authority, such as the house manager; whereas, in this acute crisis incident, of yesterday morning, he was physically aggressive and overtly violent to “simply anyone,” including the group home’s manager - it seemed to, upon deeper psychological analysis, of what was visually ostensible, and, of a critical analysis sort of mind about discerning what the nature of the problem could be - it would be surmised, and asserted, I’d suppose of myself, of that he had simply stayed awake, for too many days and nights, on end, of an ongoing, unsustainable, irrational, and, as had developed, increasingly paranoid and hostile nature towards others - in this instance, of a completely baseless premise, in exerting his hostility towards all people he faced, in the home; this being at around 9 a.m. in the morning, and whereas he was blocking access to and from people’s rooms and accommodations of the household, such as the bathroom, with his violently hostile presentation of himself being the overtly irrational and subconsciously troubled mind, having become a criminal or psychiatric issue, for the police to have attended to. 

There was a great degree of administrative caution in approaching Omar, given that he was barricaded in the restroom when the police showed up, and initially, the house manager disregarded and downplayed my appeals to her, for assistance, the case being as that it was early (somewhat) in the morning, and that commonplace disparagements and a rueful disregard of etiquette and propriety is the characteristic and peculiar, as well as particular mode of conduct about herself (the house manager), whereas I “know better,” and expect better, but this occurrence being of somewhat irrelevant nature, given that the issue was resolved to my appreciation, and that she (the house manager) was generally irrelevant to the acute crisis occurrence that had developed, in the subject’s mind, of some sort of responsibility and irrationality that was the subject’s own willful and willing volition and capability to had established, in his own mind. Comparatively, I’m commonly misled, offered suggestions, and lobbed what would amount to a paranoid and suspicious mind, of others in my common proximity, and these experiences do, in truth, come at a challenging cost of a need to expend a great deal of critical and analytical thought, as well as that a disciplined and thorough self-examination of circumstances and accountability are required of a subject such as myself, as common as Omar Andrade could be, as far as substance use is concerned, whereas the perpetrator commonly and repeatedly displayed a lesser accountability and cares towards composure and restraint, given our needs fulfillment common space and placement in life, given that we were both occupants of the same living space. What had taken place in his mind, such that he found fault in others, to the extent that he decided, of at least his wakeful and present self, that morning, there in the hallway? I have some intimations, and summations, of what had been heard of him, leading up to this occurrence, of that he was culturally overtly proud, and needful, it would seem, of presenting himself as an outspoken individual, whereas, in other instances, he was unstable in his overall persona and present self, being “sometimes” superficially courteous, and, at other times, it would have seemed as though he had courted a happenstance, arbitrary, and chaotic - inconsiderate and semiotically cruel and condescending self, perhaps of a symbolic nature, of an evidently “simply present” will and volition of that he would decide to treat me, and, on this occasion, practically anyone present, with hostility, and so - he got arrested.

The MKULTRA program’s purpose and place in society, at this stage, day, and age.

5 years of abuse, to wipe the slate clean, then comes discipline and composure, after common-law acquaintanceship and exposure to appropriate cultural and social graces.

Given that it’s largely touted to be a CIA program, here in America, it would presumably be a implementation of an internationally-well regarded standard and expectation upon the public, given distributed means of organic growth and dissemination. That being said, it is an attainment in military and civilian intelligence that spans the work of at least several various nations, with Great Britain and Russia also widely regarded as contributors to establishing standards and protocols upon such contexts of intelligence work, having established much, at the time, in terms of psychological and social sciences, in complement to the extents that the MKULTRA program covers.

These things go largely ill-desseminated, on account of the degree of personal responsibility in willfully outing such demonstrations of an abusive nature, that the program ostensibly covers, in the spirit of correcting subversive and ill-maintained nurturing environments that wind up contributing to the prevalence and presence of the schizotypal psychological anomaly in subjects, whereas the work needs to be done, in society; ostensibly it offends the progression of neglectful and irresponsible personas in proliferation and in positive expression of such psychological unwellness. For having made gains in acquiring and disseminating scientific purpose and placement, in society, enough for one’s own degree of responsibility, given reasonable extents of personal fault and shortcoming that the case may have been, perhaps personal fault had not been of issue, of the founding personnel behind such programs, in their deployment and in implementation in society. Perhaps they are simply upright and astute individuals, who need not have an overextended degree of need to contribute means and ends, in life, in other words, as far as supporting the decree of that why, and of “that, in and of itself,” programs of psychological abuse are implemented in society, with documentation and purposes being unclear to many, at this point in time (early 2022).

The generalized common prognosis of a schizotypal condition’s sufferer is an early death, as it’s widely been discerned, following psychological sciences inquiry and outcomes. To be certain, some traits of the schizotypal condition are empowering, to the subject, whereas some people, of a faulty volition and undue burden upon societal resources, attempt to subvert common decency, and standard human expectations, at this point, having come to believe that remote sensing telepathy is a currently viable and rational volition in life, eschewing common decency and standards of expectations of individuals in society, given that this sort of topic is of higher education than public schooling had afforded us, in the years leading up to the new millennium, whereas the impulse to express one’s self is both obscured, to a significant degree, in terms of a respectable standard of decency, whereas humility is much easier to disregard, and fanciful temptations of the visceral experience and of superficial and fleeting pleasures, in life, seems much easier at hand, while consequences, characteristic of our human nature, are much more easily conceived of, and less traumatic, in acceptance, on account of that, oftentimes, the remote sensing subject, and schizotypal borderline personality typology as facet and trait of the subject, seems implausible, and inconsequential, for the sake of disavowing the significance and importance of reading the individual as a visually-subject and consequential adherent, upon rational standards of expectations, at this point in time, given that this is a topic of higher learning. In other words, it’s simply easier to act and respond irresponsibly and foolishly,, given a lack of physical presence in the victimizer’s truthful and rational life experience. Many times, the schizotypal sort will appear, to a profiled and targeted victim, of a significantly non-present type of persona, demonstrating the volition and will to abuse somebody, whereas they disregard the capability of the victim to interpret such behavior as plausible, viable, and eventually, as representationally accurate of the individual abusing them, for the fact of that such profiles of victimization are conceivably present, for the sake of informing the public; for the public’s best interest.

Try it again! We’ll deal you a mean row. 

There were some things in life that I had not learned, well enough, of an anti-social behavioral sort that I had acted out. It was not until I was duly corrected, with physical (or otherwise) sort of violence and psychological that had strongly conditioned me against repeating such a behavior, scarce that it may have been - it was scarcity that was present, of an unfortunate nature. A very common expression of a positive-expression paranoid schizophrenic is that abusive behaviors of a delusional and significantly faulty nature exist - this is the furthest degree along the anti-social behavioral spectrum of the borderline personality disorder - that they attempt to portray admirability, in being dominant, yet faulty, in enacting such a sort of behavior that is dislikable, while in the presence of innocent others (casualties), simply for having been proximally nearby somebody, of a trivial degree of irrational consequence which is deemed improper for the general public.

I had placed myself in the presence of the general public, for the sake of a basic trust of people, upon a near experience of death, just a week prior to this current date of publication, early on, in the new year of 2022, whereas paranoid schizophrenia is a more deeply troubling condition. The paranoid schizophrenic’s presence in a person’s life signifies an irrational and burdensome claimant upon the victim, given that, to the most vast degree, it is implausible that a helpful mental health professional is the one being accessed; rather, that the victim had been selected based on superficial traits, social class, and opportunistic aspirations; the victimizer, hoping to make ephemeral and patchwork gains in life, for having come to believe that remote sensing encounters are viable means of coming to understand the sufferer’s needs in life, for being psychologically u,well, whereas the propriety of law, the justice and rehabilitation departments, and due process be observed,  having come to falsely believe that they ought not seek a rightful and due process unto themselves, for coming to believe that exacting justice is their own rightful consequence and volition to pursue in life, whereas more common and accepted authorities are somehow ignored, or disavowed, of their rightful place in our lives, having come to believe that they ought to, rather, enact justice, in and of themselves. 

Who is determined to have the propriety of the MKULTRA program at their claim and stake in life? In my opinion, and in my personal experience, it is the most benefitted subject, given the highest degree of personal responsibility, for having made improper gains in life; perhaps only as one of the archetypes of such mind-control programs, given that, on further remembrance, that there are at least a dozen or more archetypal mind-control subjects, given the literature. The point being, is that we had all had our place and purpose, in life, and had hereby expended the utility, desirability, and solubility, profitability, and prognosis of outcomes in life, to most rational and conceivable ends. We had reached the end of our ropes (or lives, in and of themselves), so to speak, and we had been chosen for corrections, based on that fruitless measures had become the characteristic and determinable hopeless outcomes of our lives, yet that we had pursued these measures to cruel and psychologically faulty and unwell extents in life, whereas we would come to be afforded a degree of grace, and redemption, for becoming remote sensing subjects of psychological battery and inquiry. 

With overt forms of abuse being disallowed, so to speak, in cases of conduct of the authorities, it is this sort of plausible deniability that ought be accepted by the remote-sensing “victim | perpetrator | subject” at issue, as their turn of fate, as it were, whereas it’s obviously not, by and large, I would assume, any such thing, whatsoever, our own creation and responsibility in life, to enact cruelties upon others - we have Christianity as our nation’s official religion, for example, and in that regard, certain things are largely expected of our common societal others, and peers, for example, whereas cruelty is seen as the significant and fundamental tragedy of Christ’s life and experience. Thus, enacting that we are given god-like behavioral opportunities, the impulse to invoke special privileges and exploit attractive opportunities, as it may seem, sometimes becomes compelling - being that, of my sort, I, for example, am commonly alone, yet a compelling profiled victim, for others, common also, that it may be, I find it faulty and fundamentally erroneous, for the sake of that I refuse to believe that complex and intricate modes of understanding, acquaintanceship, and learning could rightfully be expected to transpire for many others, suffering, themselves, from positive schizophrenia symptoms, and whereas I simply do not know the progeny is etymology of my victimizer’s purpose and persona, having only what had formerly, or concurrently, would be reasonable expectations of that I could come to see that these individuals had, for various reasons, chosen to access me, and subsequently, abuse me. My most pervasive experience is that most individuals would not opt to intrude in my life, particularly not of such a degree of abusive spree, and of mayhem. They simply are seen to be casually-failing individuals, quite obviously, I would say, subjects of interrogation, rather than enlightenment, for having chosen to pursue such a volition in life. Aside from that, we stand to experience a golden age in enlightenment, and enjoyment, much more directly, and decisively, if we adhere to standards of etiquette and of a Christian volition, in being acted out, and afforded to others, rather than if we were to (strangely) embody the abuser, in and of ourselves, for that cruelty affords a most primitivistic default to a fight or flight determinacy; whereas benefits are scarcely afforded to the dominant one; dominant, yet not quite equivalently so - the overall victorious one in life. Life is not so cheaply and commonly based upon acts of victory and dominance over others, in the most common experience, and cheaply-wrought experiences of cruelty come to define such victimizers and abusers. 

That all being said, I’d become a consciously-experiencing abuse victim, starting in September of 2012, there were 10 years of explanations that stood to be documented, that I had still been living out, over the course of such abuse, and it takes seven years to become somebody’s common law partner, in life, so I’m not quite done with such things, yet I do dedicate time to disseminating my experience, given that I reasonably identify with the most privileged, and most unaccountable achiever, of various means in life, of interest to others. To simply disavow that I had experienced a well-enough degree of abuses, during this time, or that I could be rightfully held responsible for some of my acts, had been the determinations and judgments, well enough, of the authorities, and it eschews due process to believe that they had not done enough, for valid equivalencies to be levied upon me, for the sake of others, particularly during times in which I simply had not been criminally competent, or of times in which I was experiencing undue abuses, in life. 

A voice for the elitely privileged: maintaining control in the face of superabundance.

 At some points in time, in life, the literary and well-cultured life tends us towards a subconscious attraction for the overly-superficial and temporarily gainful (albeit wasteful, and unsustainable) feelings of indulgence in to elitism.

We (I’d suppose that it affects me, as well, since I just recently had a near-death experience) sometimes forget our proper selves, and we eschew moral and ethical standards of behavior, for the sake of neglecting more fundamental and truthful pains in life, whereby we tend to a surface-level of superiority, it might seem, over what’s otherwise deemed as inappropriate and “not allowed,” in society. Given the pandemic, and civil disobedience movements of the heraldry of this particular time and place, in life, such as the nationwide riots, and symbolic support and morale for things, enforcement of laws has seemed to have become lax, in the face of preserving the lives of those who are there to protect us. Given this, many unlawful types of behavioral attitudes and portrayals of a common individual have become, by minute instances, more common, more seemingly “acceptable,” for their entertainment and pleasurable flouts of exhibitionistic enjoyment, and for tending to baser, albeit ephemerally pleasant (yet only, for some), social and establishment defilements that place us in a less progressive and supportable demographic, in life, for being unnecessary, of a fundamental nature. 

Being Americans (although this blog seeks to embody a globalist outlook and perspective in life), we have much of the best of our times, on a socially widespread and well-afforded degree of pervasiveness. Delving back, even further, we, as millennials, had a young adult-life era of materialistic indulgence and self-serving portrayals of great luxury and wealth pervade our still-nascent nurturing environment; insufficient, that it was, for that we are, by and large, not the financially well-to-do and literal elites of society. We simply had been afforded some facets of these traits, in life, for the sake of embodying equality, with a marketable vulnerability that was allowed fulfillments, of a lackluster resource of fundamental support, for such attitudes, in life. Few people are truly rich, well-off, beautiful, as well as socially graced with truthfully virtuous traits and attitudes in life, comparatively. 

That being said, experiences with, and interactions, thereof, of the truly well-off morally and ethically well-to-do, in society, are scarce commodities. In economics, scarcity is one of the most fundamental valuators of worth, and of value, in life. Much of what is ephemeral and easily accessible is contrary to the things that truly support wealth and social gains in life. What do we seek, to fulfill ourselves, in this day and time? We are afforded so much of what came before, with the Internet at our behest, yet things of higher and more distinctive scarcity, in terms of intellectualism, are still provided at a cost; we could not much disavow our Google Scholar and, even further, Google Books resources of academic intelligence, on one hand, that still cost money, in many cases, yet I find that many people seem to have adopted behaviors tending towards “acting out”,” in life, thus shrugging off the acceptable standards of conduct that personified our commonalities and deserved degrees of penetration and intrusiveness, in sociability, that public schools had afforded us. I didn’t go to an elite private school; some people did. Why act like people can behave themselves in such a brazenly indulgent manner, as if there is no authority in life? True intelligence and composure, in maintaining any sort of rational social engagement profile and demonstrations of appropriate social graces still come at a cost, and require a sober and accountable mind, of humility, rather than pride.

Such corollaries, that have characterized society, and which may have seemed unfair, are portrayed in the slight civilian media circuses such as Britney Spears’ conservatory (edit: conservatorship) Many people came to her “support” apparatus, in life, yet intimations of that a party-life, of a vastly seemingly endless spree of grandiosity and frivolity seem to have been underpinnings of such movements. People would do better to say less, inquire more (politely so), and in some cases, simply disavow that their needs are not being appropriately met, in cases of a pervasive lack of sobriety, for example. 

I’ll leave things at that, and allow for people’s own conscience and recognizance of our liberties afforded to us, of our will and volition in life. Sometimes, things are not quite what they seem, if a most superficial portrayal and portending of ourselves is what is at issue, and at stake, in life (that it may seem). Some people need some certain things, life, some people are content with what they have; some others might need to be restrained, yet I seem to attract an inordinate amount of abuses, and I’d just nearly died, for example, of what ostensibly suggests that I am over-exhausting myself, whereas I most commonly just seek to get out and feed the birds, lately. That’s been going on for years, now. People ought not be so shortsighted such as to expect that behaviors ought not be capably overcome, if they had been, or are, faulty and “not allowed,” in other words, whereas death came so easily afforded to me, such at it seemed to so seamlessly occur within the expanse of things that I would commonly do in life, whereas many people stand to live at least a few, several, or more, perhaps, decades in life, whereas people have so commonly demonstrated, foolishly, that they forget what they are talking about, or what the point of fulfilling the volition to speak to others had been, of such comically foolish terms. True fulfillment would more rightfully suggest contentment, rather than discontent.

A look at the sidewalk vendor scene of Los Angeles, CA.

Here in Los Angeles, the conventional wisdom of our upbringing was that Los Angeles is a sprawling, vast city. Indeed, at about 503 square miles, there is much ado about this town, civic and culture-wise.