Ugh. I'm growing tired of personal issues getting in the way.

 Over the past several months, as I've been housed in an Interim Housing Program hotel shelter, for homeless people, I've started to finally make some ground over some chronic, nagging issues that have been getting in the way of my better day for myself. For example, last year, I punched a thick wood wall panel, at a baseball dugout, essentially, over some disturbance that was playing out in my mind, and getting the best of me. I punched the board hard enough to break bone, (since the board, itself, didn't break, from me hitting it), yet my bones didn't break, even though it would have otherwise incurred a boxer's fracture, from my sloppy technique, having hit the board out of frustration, confidently, as it were, since I have steel plates in my hand, surgically implanted, dating back to another boxer's fracture, back around 2005-2006, or so. It was pretty debilitating. I had a hard time shaking people's hand, as a business person (I had to shake people's hands all the time, and I'd preferred not to have to explain the injury). 

This being the backdrop to my current situation, in that I'm certain that I incurred the same degree of injury (equivalent to broken bones), yet, latently present, in my structural formation of my body, in the facets of the supportive bones and joints that correspond with the punch to the wooden panel. I know, it seems silly, but it's difficult to empathize, or relate to a schizophrenic, I figure. I've been there, before, as a schizophrenia-naive person, to a sufferer-partner figure, who had schizophrenia, before my own real onset of schizophrenia, for myself. 

The voices had gotten to me, in other words. I was out on the street, and voices in my head were giving me a hard time, and I ended up I juring myself. It's taken a long time for me to see some positive results in recovery, but I sometimes spend entire days, out of a week, laying in bed, wondering, somewhat, why I feel like I have no energy. Since I'm always trying to quit using substances to prop me up, in life, it's somewhat a blind spot, and I found myself, recently, both denying that the substances "do" anything, at all - they do "do" something;" it's just that I had quit, temporarily, and I fell in to denial. That was the first signal to note, the other one was that, since they still "do" work, I stopped feeling like quitting, as much. It's a performance-basis sort of dependency. 

This sort of confusion is the primary reason I don't favor, or support, the "drugging" of the flocks, in order to train and tame them. I want their basis to be secure and wholesome, in simply arising from being fed well, and for being interacted with, in a considerate and paced, patient manner. I don't want the birds to become confused, as to what our purpose is, together, and hopefully others won't come along and ruin the birds' progress, as they're doing well, lately.

So, I go through these ongoing bouts of loss of ego, and denial, amidst hearing voices, although it's not as capable in persecuting me, as it had been, when I was out on the streets. It hasn't been a year, yet, since I've been housed again, but I've made good progress: my room looks impressive, for example, for a homeless person, I'd say. I finally just got back on my own unlimited Internet connection, and I'll be operating as best that I might, within a couple of weeks, or so, with a new iPad Pro in my hands, within sight, over the next few days - I've laid the groundwork for it. I go on, about my work week, trying to keep up with feeding the birds, as my daily benchmark of success, and I still have these days where I lay in bed all day, perhaps once or twice a week. It feels very physically strenuous; it probably is, considerably, somewhat strenuous, and I gauge, in my smart watches, that I track anywhere from 4 ½ miles per day, up to 11-13 miles, sometimes - just going around, feeding the pigeons and other birds (sparrows, is all, this time of year), and I also have to expend walking energy going out to buy groceries. It's pretty simple fare, and mundane, but I've worked out a fair rhythm and flow to my days. Sometimes it's the noises around me - the "certain" noises, that I can pinpoint to an actual person, or generalized location, nearby me; that is, to say, that these are "actual" noisy events around me, not voices in my head - these noises are a common disturbance for me, because of the volume. 

Anyways, I try to make my day work out, and I try to keep things working for the pigeons' best interests; i.e. keeping them fed, regularly, so that they can be trained, or trainable. They've made good progress, lately, as the library pigeons now customarily eat out of my hand, on a daily basis, as well as that they'll accept a stranger's hand, in hand-feeding them. It's a good sign; it's taken 7 years of upkeep in feeding the birds to get them to this point, in serendipity - either the birds were just ingrained-frightened of having affections for humans, meaning that they had no supportive nurturing environment to have them learn to accept humans as their caretakers, fully, perhaps due to neglect, or abuse - this type of learned behavior is difficult to alter; I find that it's best just to perform upkeep, at this stage, yet, some of the library birds' newcomers were a younger generation, which had not seen as much abuse, as had been going on, in previous years, so, some of them accept hand-feeding, and these ones sometimes seem to prefer the human element, in some part of their feeding time, for their day.

The pigeons at the DTLA Central Library enjoy some spoon-fed cheesecake.

I figure that it's a good sign, for certain; that these birds are learning new and dynamic behaviors that replicate on to the "strangers" figures, as I'd brought a companion along, on two occasions, so far, in which the birds are out of my companion's hand. It makes me ponder the possibility of the birds finally making it, in to becoming a transformational force, in the city; a force of healing recreation for people to enjoy. That potential is what keeps me going, on the days where I feel like I can't get up, keeping up the feeding of the birds, for the birds' sake, so that they don't unlearn these behaviors. Each flock has its own potential, in training, imaginably, and other flocks, such as Pershing Square, and the Figueroa at 4th St. underpass flock both also now recognize me, and they fly up to greet me, upon arrival, customarily, fairly regularly. It's a sign that they're learning, on top of having positive experiences imprinted upon them, as individual pigeons, in a flock; thus, they influence the flock's behavior, over time, as a whole. It's a decent and wholesome psychological foray; these birds, I figure - something that inspires critical thinking and psychologically-correlative thinking, in a "well" setting that's publicly accessible. 

Over time, I learn more about the pigeons, and they take me in, as one of the familiar insiders, as though I'm "one of them." 

Pigeon Journal Article / Thread of the Day № 2: Clicker Training.

 The first  entry in this set of serial / threaded entries, intended as an aide to the academic study (or abstract review, at minimum) of pigeons, or, perhaps broader contexts, such as poultry, or avians, as a whole. The sets of serial entries are gathered and examined for the sake of extending the knowledge base and references / resources available for the sake of bettering the flocks and understanding their progress, potential, and current status in behavior, learning, sensory experience, genetics, and other pertinent subject areas, as the threads and series sets procure added and new material for review and study. 

On this day, I brought out my animal training clicker (I have two), and I signalled to the bird flock outside the local public library, where the birds have become accustomed to being fed, when I show up and haunch myself up on the ledge, in front of their lofty perch, above. Subsequently, the birds have developed identification and discriminatory perceptive capabilities, and they have routinely adjusted their behavioral customs, progressing from observing and waiting for food to be thrown out, to predicting that food will be thrown out (by me), and, thus, they now demonstrate a more pro-sociable behavioral custom, in flying down, around me, in anticipation of being fed. Identification and discrimination (which will be my second entry, or "zero" entry, since I'll be referencing a past article and related practical study, dating back one day. I'm simply starting the series with the second day's thread) was the initial (first) thread, which I haven't written (yet), but, chronologically, that subject was first examined, for the sake of reference and documentation purposes, for this series on my blog. 

The psychology of babying the pigeon flock(s).

 Recently, on one of my grocery shopping trips, my jaunt was that I was set on making the ultimate milkshake, and I purchased some various component ingredients for this task to be seen through, to satisfactory completion. I can't recall all of the ingredients; perhaps it was a caramel milkshake that I had made purchases for. In any case, I made a scarcely ventured trip in to the world of corn syrup - in sodas, it's practically synonymous a concept to imagine, yet I found it rare to actually handle corn syrup, on it's own, in a bottle. So, I came out of the grocery store, and I fixed myself up, quick - a milkshake that would nearly do me in, as I quickly became sedate and somewhat faint, for havíng not much experience with how much corn syrup translates in to a reference amount of sugar. I just wanted to make the ultimate milkshake, as my outset perspective for this culinary journey and experiment with this new (to me) sugar product. I recall feeling a powerful nostalgia for the flavor of corn, and I imagined the marvels of modern agriculture, in manufacturing items such as corn oil - the oil of corn, itself, as well as corn syrup - the sugars of corn, with corn being at such a premium to purchase individually, over in my locale (ears of corn had been priced at 4/$3.00, for some time). Somehow, somebody, somewhere, had such an abundant, seemingly luxuriant amount of corn on hand, that products such as these ones noted, here, would wind up being modestly priced goods, considering the manufacture and product of corn, itself - the oil costing more than the syrup, being more scarce and difficult to extract (corn oil is, compared with other cooking oils, a more costly product, for those unfamiliar with these grocery items, on a personal level).

Nearly falling faint, from consuming such a rich amount of sugar, in such short order, in soluble form, was quite an experience. I'd already been familiarized, due to my medication regimen, with some transient and marginal comatose states of being, due to consuming sweet foods, which becomes so much more enticing, at times, in correlation with being tired. Consuming sweet pastries, or other snack-type items would do me in, during these times, for an unexpected and unscheduled day of rest, thus being a burly condition to try to conquer, being that my attitudes had shifted, in this recent phase of my life, hygienically speaking, from being upright and decent, in to slothful and lazy 🦥. This being the case, I would neglect to brush my teeth, giving my immune system and metabolism a strange and fateful set of contradictions and debacles, with such rich resources of calories and rewarding sweetness, in combination with an unconditioned signal for me, being that I, like many other young children, had been hyperactive on sweets, which were used as a reward mechanism, as well.

It had been some time, in my life, that this condition had been going on. I ended up losing some of my teeth, due to overly acidic conditions in my bloodstream and bruxism, and, at some point, I decided to switch the birds over to a similar diet, being that I'm positioned against stimuating the birds with drugs - I find it ostensibly confusing for the affected birds, who would lose sense of the discipline of the flock's daily and customary habits and routines. Yet, given this,I considered that the birds, both young and old, spend much of their days just "sitting around," so to speak, perched somewhere close to human foot traffic. In downtown Los Angeles, where I live, and care for these flocks, nearly any street corner and sidewalk is fair game for pigeons and sparrows to do their thing: showing up and "asking" for food (showing up, for city birds, ostensibly directly corresponds to seeking food from people). I decided to model the birds' diet on the ultimate milkshake experience, as a daily curated experience.

Sweet pastries potentially slightly sedate, yet also stimulate the birds' physiognomy, while providing a relaxing and tired affect of the birds. This diet has shown proven affections from the flocks, as the central library pigeons, whom had recently seen the flock's numbers practically double, now come down to greet me upon my arrival, as opposed to when I toss out food for them, which was their former state; these "states of tameness" are delicate and potentially transient shifts in the flock's behavior, if some alternate or inconsistent form of conditioning is applied, or if the flock is neglected. In any case, this current condition of the flock's sociability factor is a promising sign, on the road to hand-tameness. The flock had demonstrated this behavior in the past, as well

Pigeons are ideal subjects to impose an archetypal babying paradigm on, given that they're birds, and birds such as pigeons have a generally short attention span, except for their mating partners and baby pigeon chicks. As far as psychology is concerned, I like to develop a lot of "out front" (the temporal lobe)

The DTLA (CA, USA) police administration dog park pigeon flock, having dinner.

This flock is a somewhat special flock, for demonstrating trusting behaviors, up to this point in time, although I’ve the same behaviors, previously, in some of the other flocks in town - it’s that the flocks become subjected to inappropriate human interventions in their populations by drugging them, catching them, and apparently, intentionally torturing and abusing them by tying strings around their feet and legs. It’s a travesty that this sort of behavior, by people, is still happening, but I’m committed to seeing to it, of that the birds continue to be fed and, with time, I expect that people will refrain from victimizing the town’s birds. It’s currently unknown “just who” is factually perpetrating these crimes, and I’m hoping to raise awareness and seek community solidarity, over time, in assisting in protecting the birds from intentional abuses, for observing the birds’ natural beauty, such as I have captured on video, today, and for recognizing their intrinsic worth as a locality attraction and for the potential of birds to touch people’s lives in perhaps unexpected and transformational ways.

Product Review: Biscoff Crunchy Cookie Butter.

People always wonder what they should feed their pigeons, in order to improve their behavior, boost their health, and to engender courteous behaviors between themselves, within a flock. 

Since pigeons will eat nearly anything their beaks can manage, there is a huge amount of variety in foods that will delight a pigeon flock. Some caveats that I’ve encountered, however, are that they do not particularly like large items, items put in human receptacles (with some variance; I’ve seen wild pigeon flocks that are trained on bowls of water), and some colorful items, such as artificially-colored cereals will turn them off. In general, their natural diet would be comprised of seeds, and perhaps bugs, but in this day and age, pigeons are largely intrinsically intertwined with their human caretakers, and their diets are largely determined by what people choose to offer them. 

That being the case, pigeons are always hungry. They’re capable of eating three meals a day, even, in some instances. Choosing a variety of delectable foods for a flock of pigeons helps out in many ways: I’ve observed less bickering and chasing around of the younger and less dominant birds, upon providing flocks with better food, more consistently. Peace and harmony in a pigeon flock is largely something that can be created by design, as caretakers of the flock, and the foundation of a genetically competitive and diverse flock is ensured by keeping them trained upon their finest caretakers; sometimes, I see scraps of bread that other people had tried to feed flocks of pigeons that I care for, personally, and it appears that the meal had been disregarded, perhaps for the fact that I make sure to moisten their bread meals with sweet, syrupy milk, with added flavors. 

What about even more variety than milk and sweets on their bread? One of my personal favorite treats (for myself) is Biscoff Crunchy Cookie Butter - it literally is cookies, made in to a peanut butter-like consistency. It’s a wondrous delight to taste, and it’ll keep a person company at night, for midnight-snacking searches around the home. There are varieties of Biscoff Cookie Butter, but I like the crunchy version, because it has little bits of cookies in it. Try some out, and why not treat your local pigeon flock to a tasty snack? They’ll adore you for it.

A night-pigeon, bwipping around last night, caught my attention.

I fed this cute and curious bird some niblets of a tasty fried grilled cheese sandwich. Watch the fascinating movements around, as the pigeon postures and gestures at standard food-seeking behavior.  He was a curious and friendly one, and he stuck around for a good while, until I left for the bus. Pigeons are rarely seen out at night.

The pigeons of Wilshire at Normandie are developing near-tumbler flight.

What is a tumbler pigeon? 

A tumbler pigeon is a skills-developed pigeon; ostensibly in a well-established flock such as is the flock here at Wilshire at Normandie.  

There is a row of restaurants here on Wilshire, and the flock's main roost is on the south side of Wilshire on Normandie.

The difference between a tumbler and a regular pigeon is that the tumbler has a greater capability over its flight strength and hovering (which I've not seen established well in other flocks in the nearby area. Ostensibly, in later years and generations, the pigeon tumbling will take a more significant form in literal flight tumbling. 

More to come, in the future. :)

I found a discarded box of donuts in the alley behind the nearby Catholic church .

In future years, I estimate that the pigeons here will learn to do in-flight tricks like tumbling.