Virtual 13th Step 12 Steps Meeting: The Search for Ether Absolute.

 It’s a challenge; discovering life as a circumcised individual, in sobriety contexts. 

On one hand, I didn’t even know that I was circumcised, to begin with. A former friend queried me, one day, during my early teenage years, and he popped the question upon me. I probably said something like, “huh? Oh, well, umm… yeah, it’s like… uh, that, I guess.” He replied, “that’s sick!” For my foreign countries readers, in the last appearance of a society’s generation (this was the time of Generation X; now we are in the Millennial Generation, I would suppose), saying “that’s sick!” could be tantamount to “that’s so awesome | cool!” or it may just be a ruse to implicate analytical sarcasm and disinformation, upon the recipient. The guy has a “sickening” habit of speaking disingenuously, and callously. We’re no longer friends, because he ignores responding to things that I ask him, whereas he seemed to be significantly engaged in torturing my loved ones, as well as myself; as if I could possibly be dumber than he is, in simple remote-sensing perceptions. 

Once, I got talked in to (in my head) sending the guy a photo of me, with my pants down. Nowadays, I have an xvideos quick take on myself, contextually xvideos… <_<, and anyone is free to discover that stuff. From then until now, I had, (or would) hardly conjure up, in my mind, just as I had been, as a youth, as an adolescent - I’d been unaware of this “difference” about me. I’d been flashed pee-pees of other guys, and they were “different,” too, but different from me, (I only really saw one of them, the other was inside of pool water, and the guy tried to make a deal of that we both do it, together, but I wasn’t really in to it, because I was taught not to do that sort of thing). What had become of some of these guys? A Dick Big Now? out of them, or something? Back then, a Dick Bigg would have been the ultimate. Nowadays, given some years in to adulthood, and some private time, left alone, who could claim that they hadn’t indulged all sorts of sexual fetishization amusement and erotic moments, based upon seedy-seeming niches? - whereas the Dick Bigs were a youthful transgression, and imperative demand, upon a future lover, of that their dick big now status would consummate of that they were over, and not possibly made of a little dickie fetishization, of their “still” pornography-indulgent minds - that’s what I figure: a dick bigg now kind of guy couldn’t possibly, over a large average of individuals, comparatively, be all that much better off, in abstaining from temptation, given certain circumstances, such as having no partner, incurring internalized criticism, rebuke, and humiliation, at the hands of peers or authorities, or, even within the structure of a heterosexual romantic relationship, of that the female leaves, while the male is still consummately a drug addict, and abuser, and he, in turn, in moments such as this, would inevitably, at least sometimes, still turn to pornography, for his satiety. 

I never got a requited dick photo from these guys, in return. 

Nowadays, in dick-centric circles, a bwopp-dick faggot sort of profile gets a lot of fluff, and respite, from the participants, who imagine, and live down - vastly illegal and intoxicated sorts of mindsets about “outing” the guy with an uncircumcised penis, sort of thing, going on (goes on). The hazing, drunken groups gathering, the remote-sensing stalking, the interrogations and accusations (witch hunting), the targeting of connections to the individual (isolation and casualties), the threats of public strangers, who show up to target the individual (gang stalking), and the disavowal and threatening of victims of the opposite sex (human trafficking, sexism, and bullying) - all of these things, and even at that, perhaps it’s not all and everything said, on the matter. It’s upsetting stuff, at issue, here, and the depravities are stacked one upon the other, quite richly. The guys establish an entire lifestyle basis of a claim, in superiority, of that, and this; this and that, and they decide, collectively, amongst themselves, that their claims, demands, and all-extents considerable - courses of action, are justified, of an un-Christian decree, and basis, whereas they had done themselves a dick bigg, through hormonal and supplemental augmentation. I had not known about any such stuff, whatsoever, until I became schizophrenic at age 30, and the angry confessions, after years of having been veiled, under abuses that I burdened, and at some point, I became aware of the fact that these individuals really are - at least, in some, or many instances, conceivably, and believably - certainly doing these things to me; to my figurative and imaginary self. They found themselves a sort of no rebuke to be seen, nor consequence. 

Sometimes, these players, in life, circle themselves amongst the psychiatric community, or the local fire station, and they demand the material resources of anesthesia, or some sort of carbon monoxide concentrate; as a perfumer, such concentration and specialty is otherwise known as an absolute: in this case, it would colloquially be known as ether absolute, from an etymology bearing upon Johnny Depp and Guillermo Del Toro, in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, based on the writings of Hunter S. Thompson. Sometimes, in a downwind position, in life, an ether faucet would be unfurled, or some sort of strange, sadistic, ritualistic establishment, of strangeness, under the care of a strange-minded person (reiterative, but I could speak worser names upon people) - I’ve come to understand this sort of passive-aggressive intent unto dominance, over me, as a relegation and rebuke of the fact that I happen to have been circumcised, as a child. I simply have the mind of that I just “didn’t know” any different, and by the time I figured out that people had been abusing me over the matter, in private and collusive groups, and of a callous and calculating mind, that it were, half of a lifetime, or “most” of a lifetime, perhaps, so to speak, had passed - age 14 when I discovered that I was different, and age 30, or later, when I had begun hearing voices, and years gone on, after that, that I had discerned that this sort of penis envy issue - which is supposed to be a female’s plight, in early childhood, according to the literature, was significantly, and commonly an issue of dissent, and of attrition towards me. 

What more could I offer the people? Aside from my pornography, when I became good enough and ready to do it? Hmmpf. The demands of people for whom all of pornography is not, had not been - not been good enough for them, or that they had begun to claim that they cannot satisfy themselves - me, as simply just different, yet I scarcely receive “valid” (forensically analyzed) claims, of merit, of that women are displeased with my manner and attitudes, as well as my behavior, potentially being at issue. I figure that the ones who do complain, had been taken in, by the men, of the abusive clarion call decree, in society, and they act out, in a Stockholm Syndrome manner, within this context at issue. 

I’m not sure what else to say. Sometimes the words simply fail to have any meaning, and people enter in to abusive and inferior types of relationships possible, with such a person as that would do such a thing to me.

Latent Legacies of the Chinese Immigrants in to California, and Los Angeles - Examining Hate Crimes Against the Chinese.

 Being largely of a Chinese distinction, as for myself, I personally burden the weight of discrimination against myself, and my people.

Despite this distinct tensor contextual attractor to my malfeasance and personal rebuke, and the obvious distaste for the hatred towards my people, I recognize the shortcomings and pitfalls inherent in our American nation’s attitudes towards an age-old abuse and ridicule of a people, and a rich history that stretches far back in to the ages and millennia. It’s a shameful facet of American livelihood itself. Who hadn’t been brought up on Chinese industry and manufacture in this nation of America, particularly of the current living generations? It’s a widely known and much-disregarded feature of our lives, which characterizes the virtues of the Chinese, of an intrinsic nature, here, upon examination. Today’s corollary aptitude, bringing the topic forth, in to relevance for my readers, would be the electronics and semiconductor industry (although it is apparently largely a Taiwanese industry; yet they are somewhat of a similar lineage, here). Foxconn, for example, is a major manufacturer of our mobile device wiring and circuitry, of the small, yet intrinsically necessary, small parts that connect our devices, within their logical frameworks. 

The Chinese are commonly given one or more representative localities, where they can collectivize and gather, of their homesteading intentions becoming fulfilled. A Chinatown is a well-known feature of many of our major civic metropolises, here in America, just as other cultures and races have localities bearing their namesake, for distinction. 

A previously unknown, yet apparently sesquicentennial, upon this year, being 2021, at the original date and time of this writing - tragedy that beset the Chinatown of my current hometown of Los Angeles, (also where I had been brought up: Los Angeles County), happened in 1871, on October 24. Recently, our mayor of Los Angeles appeared at a press event, where he apologized for the massacre, and publicly acknowledged the violence that happened, back then, and he (Mayor Eric Garcetti) brought the issue forth, in calling for an end to the current waves of continuing hate and criminal activity against the Chinese, in particular, in Downtown LA’s adjacent Chinatown, which sees a 164 percent increase in violence, in recent years: (ostensibly; I didn’t listen through, or research, and discover, the actual transcripts of his speech).

With modern-day warfare establishments extending in to the nether-regions of heretofore unthought-of territories, of most of the American populace - A.I., space warfare, and energy-directed weaponry, such as remote-sensing apparatus installations and mechanized weaponry, we see plain intimations of brinksmanship, as plainly as the skies above us. Given that, I get my own particular spot in the world, and my own personal perspective on things, for being an outgoing avid pigeon-feeder, as my common habit and pursuit (although I’m not quite supposing that air-writing messages are personally targeted for me; I just happened to be privy to the camera shot, here in this photograph).

A special message in the sky, on an auspicious late afternoon of public recognition of my efforts (somewhat; it at least played out in my remote-sensing periphery and playback, of the day, as for myself).

Just days later, people who were out and about saw rich corroboration, in our Southern California daytime skies, while the news media published upon China’s forthright aggression, in firing off hypersonic missiles, whereas it was reported that U.S. combat technologies, within the same field, fell short of impressiveness, and superiority. It’s a fairly simple premise: in a remote-sensing and spectrography maritime environment (and in this day and age, wartime preparations and engagements are an “all the time” coming to fulfillment apparatus of our global societies) - we burgeon society and progress upon the work and worth of the people, who leverage what they can, or might, given what resources we have. In this day and age, where Chinese people are still collectively disregarded and dismissed, of the insults to our culture, and our people: where others still bicker and subsist at a lesser-level society, founded upon weaker intelligence and culturally-downgraded (albeit, surreptitiously, not quite publicly, as it goes) set of cultural habits and characteristics, where they feed upon better establishments of good health, sound ethics, and more nurtured environments, of the targeted victim’s upbringing, and aptitude (here, in my case, I am commonly derided as a Nazi, of my Eurasian heritage; my other half being Lithuanian descent). 

I’m calling for help, essentially. Good looks, and upbringings could only merit going so far in life, and the superficiality is inexorably unfulfilling and counter-productive. The point I was trying to get at, previously, is that the Chinese simply have more human populace to draw upon, to power a remote-sensing and directed energy-powered war mechanism, imaginably. Although I didn’t photograph the aerial clashes, on the days precluding the hypersonic missile news article publications, they did seem to corroborate what was being written and published on, in the news. 

A man of a different heritage spoke casually, perhaps to me, or another person present, at the time, of that “it’s easy to hurt somebody.” I felt quite differently, on the topic. Although I am commonly driven to angering and upsetting limits and concomitants, in circumstances, and for events that transpire, I am more commonly a self-injurer, rather than a willing combatant, when it comes to aggression, coming forth, above the surface, in person-against-person combatting. I recently broke my hand, a couple of months ago, by punching the wall. Even so, in resonance warfare tactics, which are not even necessarily of intentional nature, the greater fortitude sees victory, of a most patient and piecemeal formative nature. 

Somehow, I’m led to believe, that my closest connections, in my personal life’s history that had played out, are being exploited, to a most egregious extent. I’m at odds with enacting violence upon others, as a well-mannered Baptist Christian, that I was brought up as. Take it for what it is, this is a factual account, and my own personal reading in to, on this topic. People familiar with Chinese cultural history and acquisitions and assimilations would understand the significance of 150 years, yet here, in the melting pot of Southern California, Los Angeles, it is a burden that is all too much for our Christian heritage, and for God’s promise that we will not be made to endure beyond what is our human capacity to bear; and there are many nations to go, and to come, of their Christian heritage and westernization modernization apparatus, and we are still being mocked, and derided, in the streets, and in our homes. 

Update: 5:29 a.m. 10/30/2021

Apparently, the seething intention underlying the current disregard of the Chinese people lies within (purportedly) the Biden presidential administration playing out a sickening ruse in which I am ordered to leave town, while DTLA is blown up by a bomb, and unionized workers come in, from all over the country, to rebuild the Los Angeles Civic Center in record time, as well as burgeoned on the suffering and torture of some noted victims; in this case, I get arrested and remanded in to court for leaving town, as a profiled victim of law enforcement, with a warrant due, on a “couple of years-old” court case, which I had been neglectful of following up on, due to these traumatic and abusive ruses playing out in my mind, constantly, and also as the basis for me being arrested for the charge in the first place. The truth of the situation is that, in recent encounters with law enforcement, I was fairly simply cited for drug possession, and the district locality court which would attend to my remand court procedure had stated that they didn’t want to pick me up to go there, in essence. The case was one of those in which I had been hearing voices in my head, for days on end, and I became unreasonably psychotic, amongst a huge gathering of folks in Santa Monica. I was “stuck,” so to speak (in short), on a stone bench, and I had taken to the notion that I had become a Snapchat geolocation destination for tourists and for the attending youth, so that they could pwn me - as a bum, trying to air dry some sweat-soaked clothing articles, which I needed, since they were wet, and it was becoming evening, during the winter time. 

What a sickening 12 Steps Meditation Meeting. I don’t find negative conditioning to be any sort of proactive and effective rehabilitation measure. It’s blatantly well-known, to students of even the most primary psychology courses, at the university level. On one hand, I’d seen Joe Biden, many a time, on my news feeds and news articles contained within - appearing to be intoxicated and on drugs. Then, there was this notion being flouted around, of that crystal methamphetamine is burgeoned upon resources and activities gleaned out of physically torturing somebody. In the case of this allegorical, constituently entangled episode, and of our disparity of that we had not established formal acquaintanceship with the president (as well as given his lack of sobriety, at times), the premise arose of that he was seeking to bash out a quick series of claims, for those affected by the hypothetical bombing to-be, of DTLA, of cashing out the property owners’ insurance claims, hiring the nation’s foremen, construction workers, and contractors, all with the contingent pwn basis, of that some people, or perhaps simply only me, myself, being left with the lack of inclusion in to the story, of that I had to have been removed from society, unreasonably, and my loved ones tortured, and be set against one another, as well as myself, in the time leading up to this effort, and that my remand, in to incarceration again, would be the catalyst for such a course of action taking place. 

Indeed, this premise had been playing out, significantly, in my mind, and perhaps for others, as well. I hear the most egregious and atrocious episodes playing out, quite constantly, and I was definitely not brought up in the sort of home such that would suppose this sort of outcome, or even more depraved - appreciate the corollary inclusion of a promise of drug use consumption, and rewards, staked for the claimants - founded upon the torture and defilement of people, whatsoever. Take, for example, the anecdote I published on my other blog, IoTpigeons.eco, in which I describe the fascination of synthesizing and reconstituting a fragrance recipe based upon an orange flower absolute gas chromatography interpretation and analysis - the original might be just marginally superior, in practical usage, yet would smell largely the same as the original - either one, or the other, done properly. Our plants and material resources, in minerals and industrial milling, as well as our off-shore sea coal tar industry - produce fine products of all sorts - all of what good nature and medicine has given us. Recall the truth of the matter: crystal methamphetamine is “sometimes” prescribed to individuals, as a controlled substance. How, or why, ought an American-society’s legally ordained medicinal product, ever be burgeoned upon human suffering? It’s an unimaginable disparity, borne of a lack of patriotism, that seeds this type of story and scandal within the dregs societal demographics. For these individuals, sobriety and drug abstinence simply seems less compelling than talent and virtue, things upon which we study and celebrate in our religious and philosophical traditions, in Western society. On one hand, we are a western society, by tradition, and for that matter, even the Chinese had given up its territory and people for the sake of ceding to British rule and procedure in administration of Hong Kong, for a period of 150 years, for that matter. 

Corrected:

California EDD (Employment Development Department) Suspended Claims Update: New Streamlined Claim Reopening Process Unveiled, for some Users.

Some claimants in California's Employment Development Department's Unemployment Insurance program are shown a new glimmer of hope in reopening their claim.

As an unemployment insurance claimant myself, whom was affected by the EDD Fraud taskforce suspension sweeps implemented just prior to the new year (2021), I can relate to the disappointment and distress that many other claimants in California faced, in the passing of the new year, from 2020, in to 2021. 

With the Coronavirus (COVID-19) Disaster of late winter 2019 and spring in 2020 having wrought widespread civic and economic consequences, many individuals eventually found greatly needed and much-appreciated solace from challenging conditions imposed upon us by the Coronavirus outbreak, subsequent civic decrees of social distancing, shutdowns, curfews, etc., in addition to yet more difficulties and challenges that we experienced, localized in several hotspots throughout the nation, as well as here, in Los Angeles, which saw particular challenges to an already-burdened public health department, social services, housing, law enforcement, and mental health services array of local government departments and organizations.

Following the coming of the new year, the notice of the suspension of many people's claims in Unemployment Insurance was delivered in our online UI inboxes, with Fraud and Identity Verification processes being necessarily verified, due to several flagging parameters of a user's account, such as multiple claims from within the same household address, questions about the legitimacy of certain claims, as well as the willingness of workers who had filed for unemployment to seek out employment, as they receive UI benefits being one of the determining factors in continuing benefits distribution to individuals; of the common procedure in how benefits are usually distributed. The COVID-19 crisis saw the EDD offer more lenient circumstances to unemployed beneficiaries, as far as seeking new work, as one of the circumstances that was stricken from the requirements, for the time being, for the sake of the difficulties imposed by the disaster. 

Apparently, some UI claimants will see a glimmer of hope, in reopening their cases. (I had particular difficulties in the former identity verification process that the EDD had deployed, as a solution for suspended claims, since I had recently lost my wallet and ID card, which was part of the process in reopening a suspended claim). This morning, I discovered a new message in UI Online, the Employment Development Department's Unemployment insurance online portal for certifying for claims, on a bi-weekly basis, as well as for managing communications, tax forms, payment information, and account history. 

The new, more streamlined process is less challenging (given my particular circumstances of having lost my ID card), and takes just a few minutes to complete. Some of the questions included in the claim reopening form ask about the claimant's most recent work history, information about their former employer, and any information about the claimant seeking job opportunities, job training, or education paths that would lead to employment, in the future. 

With claim reopening wait times having been projected as taking about a month, or more, I'm sure that the news of having our claims suspended was a quite challenging and disappointing occurrence to discover in our UI Online message inboxes. I'm not sure how widely implemented this new claim reopening process was distributed, amongst the user accounts who were included in the temporary claim suspension and ID verification process, but hopefully, this bump in the road, for some, will see things through to a timely and quicker resolution for their claim accounts. 

In lieu of receiving news of the claims being reopened, however, I would suggest that individuals still proceed with, and follow through on the identity verification process, through the provider website at ID.me. Individuals whose claims were suspended were given 10 days to verify their identity, or mail a letter requesting an extension for completing the identity verification process.