I just recently saw a former friend in porn + some back story surfaced.

 As that I'm single, right now, I'm still drawn to pornography, at age 42. It's been a rough set of years in dating, as a schizophrenic, with several bad breakups preceding my schizophrenia onset, as the backdrop to a row of horrors that ensued. This particular incident dates back to the beginning of my dating years, which was back in college and university. There, I was with one girl throughout my college career. I hear that she hangs out with the guy whom I saw in the porn video; a mutual friend. After I realized that the guy is, potentially, recognizably, the same person that I was friends with, back in university times, some melodrama unfolded. I hear that the purpose of me hearing it was that I'd been done a number on, so to speak. 

According to the allegory, my ex-girlfriend and ex-fiancee had moved back to my college home town, of back then, and had been settling in, with friends, there, meanwhile, I'd heard nothing of it. I'm not all that much attached, any more, and there's a lot of sore feelings that go along with processing this sort of thing, which, usually, lately, I'd not give much credence to, yet I found that the story satisfyingly enough fulfilled a dark hole portion of my mind's memories, coming up to the present day. She was upset that I never came back out to try to find my way in life, with her running around town, but I guess that that's where things get fanciful, in believing the story. I have to maintain some restraint, since the girl remains distant to me. 

There were a bunch of short tales of misdeeds leading up to ruin, in their own lives, likewise, as I'd experienced. It was like a lucid dream, that I'd had, in hearing this stuff out, while I'm trying to get to sleep. I'd been ailing over the notion of becoming old, as a single person, lately, since I find it hard to socialize, and all of my former relationships, whether they be guys or girls, are largely all broken ones, so it's a bit awkward, starting over again. I just have to keep faith and persevere through this; I've been through a rotten bunch of years, but when things are good, they're good times to be had, for sure. I'll just have to wait things out. I don't get very far, in contacting people, from long ago. It tends to exacerbate my symptoms. In general, though, I've been on a good path towards rehabilitation, and I've been feeling better, and more on top of things, in my life. The pigeons help keep me stable, because they show affections towards me when I show up to feed them. 

Update: Now, a couple of hours or so after writing this article, I have new voices in my head, feigning possibilities about the pigeons' fate, should I ever choose to leave town, which, I figure, could be plausible, being that there's a train that runs out to Riverside, from Downtown Los Angeles (I went to UC Riverside). They're saying that they could keep the pigeons fed, in my absence. Perhaps I'll be able to figure something out that works with the schedules and needs of all included, within this issue, daydreaming aside; I still would like to finish up my Master's Degree in Music Composition, being that I've had plenty of years on me, at this point, and I have, as well, some cool compositions that I've worked on, over the years.

Some take on the notable real aficionados moments notions of a real pigeon aficionado (jogging, - feeder; bum type, with reasonable religiously austere concessions of discipleship)

iPigeon.institute entry 4/30/18

With a mind like yours, son, you should be leading a society.

Thanks, dad. One day at a time. At least, for tonight, I’ve got a big belly. 

I’ll think about that; a bit. See where it could fit. I’ve got no mind for outthinking such as have with at it.

Sleepless nights. That’s what this young man has at it, for what he’s with came to for. For endless pages of thoughts out on paper, this man has sleepless night at about him. That’s what I see. For endless thoughts out on paper ought be, sleepless nights are before him on iPigeon tablet dot institute discourse was integral foray of the night’s afternoon forthwith aught forthright coming today’s earlier on, and with that, it was a discussion of dot com disambiguation from notable internet search term foray of dot pigeon dot com not excluding the i pigeon dot something not com since that’s taken for racing pigeons internet site, so it was decidedly iPigeon.institute for all discussion’s sake. Stupidity aside, it was discourse enough to not verge on how bout it tryna fuck’s sake, for interest’s worth, that’s what’s left, been unsaid. 

That being said, it was better than the basest of conversation’s sake. Obviously necessary, given that I don’t likely think better of most guys. 

HTML 5 https blogger google domains $20 dot institute currently, at $60 .io you’d be better get your worm’s worth dot institute for a dot anything, without swearing, that’s the goal. Using all sorts of language utility without verging on swearing or sex, that’s a serious problem that I encounter all the time that iPigeon.institute can definitely overcome, in and of itself, from what’s its aught to be made of: pigeon fluff and good things, to considerably do, for pigeons: Taylor Swift pigeons of young America, late night pizza Pulitzer Prize pigeons biopic, waffles and syrup pigeons of continental breakfast America pigeons, all sorts of standard life pigeons ostensible, it’s the stuff that love is made of. 

Try it, but not without feeding the pigeons from out of the garbage one day, they’ll love you for it, for finding them food.

If all else fails, get them real butter and bread, they’ll not unthankful be aught for forthcoming efforts, for food’s sake, real butter and bread is what they’re good for, no doubts about it. Definitely warmed butter, all sorts of butter and bread. All sorts? Yet butter, component. Check. Bread? Is it edible? Check it, no mold on the edible, it’s good. Don’t feed pigeons unthinkable food, that’s just gross.

I have to go out and feed the pigeons reasonable food. Smelling a cozy nest bird is reason enough to let them aught poop on a person, and let it fly. It’s not that gross, if they’re fed well, and some say it’s good luck, if a bird happens to poop and perhaps if they’re perched, it was definitely meant to be. For bird lovers, it’s definitely within bounds. I might venture to state that people opposed to it would not make good parents, obviously.