iPigeon.institute blog: narcissism

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Showing posts with label narcissism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label narcissism. Show all posts

Thursday, March 17

Remote Sensing Environment User Deprecated Practices - The Freudian Slip of Doing Something as Though It Matters

In remote sensing observation and participatory environments, there may (at this point in time, within the cell that is collectively managed and occupied by myself) be seen to be an undesirable degree of conflict resolution abandonment. 

Details aside, the more fundamental calculations and consequences of the pursuit of adversarial techniques in psychological abuse in socialization through remote sensing, is the higher imperative. Being that the victimizers fail to improve their outlook in life, and aberrant psychological dilemmas of a dark nature persist in the perpetrators’ lives, rather than that joy is found amongst community and society. 

In this day and age of technology, where intelligence can be nurtured and developed upon the extent of resources, with lateral and vertical markets of human collateral in knowledge base and servile utility, much more rational and equitable identities are a more sustainably beneficial and productive ethic to pursue, whereas rewards in technological developments of third parties and oversight committees, such as increased cloud compute attributions and merits, of being afforded the cost of time, energy, and human resources becomes a more viable end and means, in life, in an economy of otherwise uncertain and aspirational “still (at this point in time) context, within the scope of social status attainments, financial wealth, and in many aspects of personal wellbeing, whereas materialism and experiential devotions compete with each other, as a primary theme of much of the conflict that had been observed, up to the present time. 

In to an indefinite future? The question, in and of itself, is a quandary, much to be likened to a long-standing characteristic of the substance abuser, of emotional abuse, to mental health stability’s uncertainty - in a likewise deprecated practice of “promise,” which loses significant worth in a social economy that is not founded upon honest and forthcomingness in humility, whereas people value detrimented and misfortunate superficial gains in life, upon abnormal psychology fixations, such as the pursuit of narcissistic supply - a pleasurable environment to stage upon, yet faulty and superficial, on one hand, cruel and unnecessary, on the other hand. 

With psychology at topic here, I had established, upon reflections and reflexes, of my psychological standard, as much as that these dilemmas; dilemmas and conflict, even, (perhaps), of a fundamental nature, to form a corollary residing trait of literature that reaches back as far as Sigmund Freud’s writings and finding; my experience being drawn up, and designed upon the machine learning environment of “having experienced” being a social psychology observation subject, with psychological abuses towards me being as that the subject is deemed to be a favorite (so to speak) of a persecutory agent [redundant]. All things considered, not all of us had studied university level introductory psychology, which would, of course, mention and assign the works and findings of Dr. Freud, nor had many people gone through conflict resolution courses in life, which would reasonably suit an emotional maturity milestone age demographic tending more towards early teenage years, in society, with “teenage angst” seeming to be an accessibly familiar claim upon this assertion. 

Given that my recent dispersions that had acquired and developed much attention, appreciation, and fascinations, of an excretory “topic” nature about the context, a Freudian claim upon the underlying psychology at issue here is quite apparent. Being that abuses, of a remote sensing tactical nature, lend themselves to a “standoff” type of portrayal and representativeness of itself, I offer the victim’s experience as evidence, to an assertion, for as much as that bathroom duties of simply even “getting up” to use the restroom, as a trait of what is considered common and accessible for people of our society - it leans in to violations of basic human and civil rights.

Wednesday, October 27

Virtual Narcotics Anonymous Meeting: Confronting Asymmetrical

It’s an inevitable outcome, for the person who had lived a finery lifestyle, of some sort, as far as eating good food, and exercising regularly goes. I would consider those two things to be primary traits of fine living, even at its most bare, all else considered - finding the pleasure pursuit, and seeking pleasures, instead, to characterize the persona mocked up as of that finery would be considered upon this basis, rather than a more sustainable and natural lifestyle set of traits be extolled. 

Isn’t it inevitable? At least, in Los Angeles, it would seem so. We’re told that we have the capability to live out all of geography’s wonders, within driving distance of less than a day, out here. The larger picture we’re given, is that we live in the finest nation in the world. But how many people end up subsumed by the glamour lifestyle, at some point, or get swept up in the out-do-doo scandal rags of publication literature and media? At some point, people will demand that these scoundrels pull their own weight, in athleticism, for the fact that … well, I don’t know what. I happened to be personally, thankfully, graced with a fitness mentor of the unexpectedly degree of distinction, in my life. The man’s workouts would challenge a dormant heartbeat into a near-faint, within seconds, no doubt. To have not been attending to these things would become apparent, within minutes. Yet, the man is made of these things, perhaps not forever, though, in the land where people start to believe that life lives on, forever. The land of fables, as it were, that we do, here, by tradition, in this town. 

Tuesday, August 17

I have borderline people in my head, back at home.

 People who know me, of my recent mockup self, know that I toe a contentious line about my narcissism, being that there are a couple, or so, variants of narcissism, and even at that, given "whatever," about this guy, or that, and we're all sufferers of the same ailment, to some degree; yet each of us would prefer our own brand, of things, when it comes to who's personality traits, and ideations, etc. end up being the more fruitful and attractive persona in society. 

The textbook Narcissism spectrum is a 5-step set of distinctions in depravity, or misfortune, as it were, pinioned about the topic spectre of Narcissism (to reiterate) at issue. It begins with ...

Well, I don't remember. But there's grandiosity, delusions of grandeur, borderline personality disorder, as the middle trait, then psychopathy, and lastly, paranoid schizophrenia, as the final trait that defined the narcissist, and their inevitable outcome, with the psychiatric industry. 

No? This is a poor topic, for some, or, in some regards. Yet, I constantly deal and cope with a reality of having to accommodate people who destroy any semblance of a proper relationship that had been established, whereas those moments seem to have lost importance, for the person. People had been working overtime, and at all hours, trying to offer in a therapeutic approach, to no avail. Heartbreaking attitudes, sadistic fantasies, and many various sorts of care to abuse people, from a networked and arbitrarily tangential outlook and outset, from the core identity of a single victim; finding casualties in innocent bystanders, friends, relatives, etc. 



That's all I'll say; just my input, as to acknowledge that it's still going on, on this day. 

Monday, June 3

Some days are rough, keeping the pigeons fed.

Alright, I can own it: the bugs only home are not going to be particularly anything special just because I'm living here.

I had been of the belief that they could or might be; on account of the nuclear watershed environment about the place.

Sometimes the folklorist assertions from the voices in my head catch me suggestible, and not that nurturing environment doesn't count; indeed - particularly for a narcissistic and grandiose mind.

That being said, I've largely overcome many of my histrionics in of grandiosity par narcissisme. It's a difficult road to navigate; looking as I do, with a neuroticism behind the glamour. I wasn't brought up this way. I sometimes fancy the belongings of others, and, as we all know, it is a sin to covet what is rightfully someone else's. 

Sometimes the stories in my head turn me spiraling downwards in to a depressive mood, and I go outside, seeking stimulants for a fix; lately they just haven't been doing the job all that well.

All of that aside, I've realized that, along with my clothing haul from a few days ago, I brought home some ticks, as well. It's the beginning of the month now, and General Relief welfare has come through. I purchased a box of Raid Max concentrated fogger. I tried out staying inside while and after I sprayed, and it definitely works. I was choking on the fumes.

A box of Raid Max spray. I got some for myself, and I realized that the pigeons' roosts likely harbor ticks, as well.
I determined, from last year's iPigeon efforts, that the feces of the pigeons is a mineral-rich substance that attracts parasites. I figure I ought to spray the area nearby my home that features some freeway pigeons, and I'll give them some food, while I'm at it, for the morning, as well. Perhaps milk and cereal?

A 5 minute walk to the pigeons' roost, where I'm sure some ticks have gathered, to mangle the pigeons with Lyme disease.

Monday, February 4

The importance of making good on consumer purchases in integrity in development.

I purchased my monthly General Relief ($221 USD) welfare budget mostly at Target at the University of Southern California USC Village shopping center.

They've got some truly rare gems of offerings, some of these at comparatively better than expected prices.

I bought another RCA Viking ÏÏ Tablette, as I saw it as a great product, comparatively, from last month's purchase of the same item, with which I was able to attain a lot of good Google Play Store downloads in my searches, and I made some good progress in establishing iPigeon outings to further my pigeons carnival aspirations in a slow and dedicated manner, still decades to come, I'm sure, until they're truly carnival-ready pigeons of DTLA.

On the next day, I had been wandering around the nearby Figueroa Blvd. area, as well as around South Park and Grand in DTLA, as it was raining intermittently, and heavily, and it was particularly cold, at that.

I had gotten my feet soggy, and I'd been doing some [somewhat] gravitationally-perpective-vanishing point scaling surveying work with my Bushnell (*my - I found it laying outside) passive laser golf device "thing," (not quite sure of the model itself, but I looked it up, and it was valued at $300). I noticed (since I'm nearsighted in one eye, and mostly regular-sighted in the other eye) that, in intervals, the telescopic features of the concave and convex lenses, with the measured scaling I was practicing, in survey and grade work - which I had determined I was capable in achieving in slight measures; definitely beyond my singular and subjective personal belief. 

[Perhaps there were also ... ? Hmm... well, people were working at the new park over on the other side of the street on Grand at 11th]


I had, (also), collected and retained some of my poop from the night before, which was somewhat a fortuitous and strangely burgeoned development purpose, in that I had started to become a bit irked, acutely; 

...

It was stuff happening over the course of the day, actually. I was upset about this trawled out "showing up where I'm at" thing about last caseworker I had, and her supervisor's supervisor...

Stuff like that. I was more attracted to the supposed higher up 2nd supervisor, but I found the structure somewhat strange; it was as though a bunch of people somehow had to "manage my case," in which case, they're making money off of me; 

Meanwhile I had been getting verbally abused by remote personae; this had been going on for years, decades, even. 

One lady ; ... well, she was my case manager, Rochelle Williams, that she named herself, had stated that she does not clean her own home, and I found her to be - on first meeting her, constituently something of an unprofessional « off-hand » 

Then the group of them collaboratively established me in getting hospitalized for supposed psychiatric emergency; potentially with severely depraved intimations of violence towards my mother in having been committed against me as what had transpired while I was hospitalized. 

She later had it out in the local DTLA newspaper, somewhat ad hoc with a journalistic imaginative freedom, (most perhaps-ly) as Richelle Huizar, a momentary wife caught up in and that had played out as an FBI raid upon a city counilman's data. 

It was a time of November, of « even years » ...? or do these things happen every year? Elections; sorts of stuff. 

It (not to become overly Tolstoy, intentionally), was also a time of significant egotism, strife about class-needs and demands: amongst imprisoned solitary few - here, again, the victimization of the Eastern European Caucasians, as "Jews," [as people would decry, and as have of them], and of the Cantonese Chinese, as Christian missionary-taught Protestant faithful. 

There was a whole lot of "just kidding" glance-backs at the cause as a purpose in life, and a lot of traumatic screams; there were the hospitalizations, much traffic on the streets as violently anti-social and as civic activists beyond lawfulness being attested to. 

There was much of confusion of syntactical structure; we've come a significant farce from claiming so many things of former years; some of these many I'd largely expect to simply be years on, in being younger than myself, my age at this time being age 36. 

There were lies about process fulfillment, as intimated could would did done happening, and that was in words, that it happened, yet of all that, still unfulfilled. 

There were statements as towards, "well, why not just violently revolt against all of us?"

In truth, I'd been the one to not detriment the few who have friendly faces about themselves in my common daily life, as it passes; and at that, many unfamiliar unfriendly, and some, familiarly rude... 

What might could I really say, of some measure; and then it came to suggesting of violence [this had already happened, and it happened to me, first, and beyond compulsion, in to other collaborative efforts, of a suggestively depraved-magnitudes in, in having been established, as purpose as cause for the reason for so many things, to explain, at a certain point of comprehension]. 

On one hand, simply understanding that collaborative efforts had been established, beyond lies, first and foremost; 

I'd say that that's a sorry start to a first-hand disposition and objectively subject of focus in life as a remote, off-camerata personae talker (improper; of usage, perhaps), 

and they'd simply decided to be that way in life. On one hand, I couldn't say that I much could have known much better about them in order to have treated them well, given that I'd not met them, or had hardly been acquainted, or introduced properly, at all. 

Getting in the way of development work.

Given that I'd been made (scientific control environment) fearful of things that matter to me, and that the subject is my mother, and that I'm being targeted, as well;

I'd spoken on a few days, morning through night, as best as my mind could establish work logic productivity purpose to suit, 

I made some people the topic of subject at hand.

Given that sort of discourse,

It's been established that some people, perhaps had been establishing themselves, somewhat, as cannibals amongst a professionalism (of ethics, in work practice) expectation upon my life that is obviously strange, to consider.

* Redundant, (establishing), but that's how it came out, as far as I would, and do have "had attempted," as face-to-face interactions that've been established (*again, lol) as [as overseen], unsuccessfully kiosk-as-personae walk-up constituency that's most common of being claimed as such that would be that to deride, as having had never been established in life; of my mother, for example. Me, as well; fairly much, that they treat me as; claiming further defeats upon me to come, and a hopelessly to-be: unfulfilled American dream of all manners of positive nurturing environment in psychological backdrop that I'm allowed of myself, for the virtues that I'd been raised with, and corrected about, as that there'd been deprecations along the way, yet strange, that they'd attack my mother at her home, to be sure.

That being said, there are small and measurable gains to be made in development work for the sake and manner of establishing ethical small steps in dedication to finery in mannerisms and in etiquette. 

I'd been slated a bum, for various reasons I'd call less than more than they do, as far as words that I'd put it as, yet small steps to be taken; a long road in establishing virtue in purpose in life. 

These things signify aesthetics, authenticity, singularity, as well as developmental purpose in sustainability and progress.

Latest post.

The pigeons eat cheesecake, at the DTLA Central Library (photo blog).

 I captured some photos of the pigeons getting messy, while enjoying some cheesecake, yesterday, at the library. 

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