Who pays the toll of the confounding [f]actor's role in a role-weary incompetent or insane subject?

Somewhat - 

Alright, « okay » like, I really needed that (most times), or, like, people really [don't] bother to conceal their formants, and self-such character-isms of speech and poise, but I don't really get the lack of sociable attainment, the thing about "just getting it done," 

Rather,

There's this vast contingency of avoidant (I'd forgotten about that one [of abnormal psychology]; the avoidant, the passive-aggressive, the decades gone on, in lacking sobriety and 12 Steps fundamentals, as life. People really do live their lives off of the 12 Steps, when they're in the supportive arms of truly good-meaning sober individuals - I've always self-managed my drug abstinence, because I have a hard time speaking with strangers, and some aspects along those lines. 

For that matter, it feels like you guys are abusing the child of my life-in-suspension - I used to pull Tarot cards for this type of thing. But that was years ago.

Then, I became a person who simply never does the thing that is so characteristically immature, and short-sighted. I did the most menial of digital life-styling reputational upkeep, in cases where I had done others wrong (undoubtedly while in the midst of a manic spree on life; by all means, un-sober): I went back and apologized to the person - digitally, at that, since it was my digital Life up for self-criticism, and for matters of integrity of my self.

The point being, is that, all-in-all, I did do those things, and I could move forth in life flinching with the sour memory of those things lingering - nonewhatsoever. 

Okay, there is this guy, and one other guy, I owe them each about $40-$45. Eek. That's literal money I owe, to leverage my business ethics statistical "perfect," otherwise.

But some of you guys (and ladies) - sheez, ... I guess maybe you guys (and ladies) perhaps never made it out past suburbia; whereas [I seem to have recognized destitute and laboring] {some guys} I've seemed to recognize, out in the open wild, while I'd been "trekking," and how natural the interactions were - just in passing; just maybe, it was "them."

Those kinds of guys don't have this passive-avoidant histrionic persona that pops in to my mind, and acquisitions some arbitration or leverage about my wherewithal and my going-for-show-pigeons better pedigreed self.

On one hand, there's the notion of replicable personae-identities, yet who would be comfortable knowing that I simply « believe » these horrible things about people? Some people.

Some people who don't really do Facebook « well, or properly ». And then, there's this whole thing about speaking in to the phone's speaker {thing} and the expectation that the audio clip-bytes reach me?

 On one hand, I can concede that this is about as "crazy" as I'd come off, given my willingness to « once again » relate the long-windedness and intricacies of a schizotypal personality disorder, such that I have; whereas most people claim that they don't hear voices, whatsoever. 

That's it, though. That's the limit of how « actually » crazy I look; it costs me a blog of relevant content, somewhat, to digress, again, in to abnormal psychology, once again, yet here it be, plain and simple - I'm 38 years old now, so's most people involved, or better (or lesser of consequence, for being third-person removed) - most perhaps-so. The opposing face-to-face second person disposition is truly a rare one, but I do sometimes speak at long-winded lengths about formative aspects of all expected contextual realities and foundational underpinnings, which lead to critical analysis of the "other" person, at hand, but that's not to say that many people who encounter me don't actually mean me harm, given a turn-of-my-back to them. They do, and I realize these things, even as they trouble me.

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Then, I inevitably get some web-crawler "bot" hits, after publishing the post to social media, and oftentimes, a colloquy ensues. But I'm moreso that I'd just rather be done, and done with the issue. I could do coffee, at a coffee shop, and forget about it, over a sweet one.

My blog stats - minutes after posting the blog and sharing it to social media.

It could even be a home-spun drink, in a recyclable bottle - but these types of sociable accommodations just fail to get done.

What im im see, here, though, is an imminent troll-of-all-web internet activity, for lack of a better term, in the all-hours readiness to check out my latest blog, type of thing - which could only be « somewhat » okay. The thing of the internet of all hours "thing" is a tired subject - I'm commonly neurotically fraught with the consequences of having done a night of the internet of all hours "thing," and the cost of repairing that deed, with ionic minerals, with medications, with attending personnel and professionals about my mental health patient status, not to mention my social worker - these are all tolls of being improprietuous of what ends up being "for my sake," in which case I have to answer for my [obvious] shortcomings.

The desire to shield one's identity behind remote sensing technology is a dark, loaded vehicle, carrying the impetus of the person's wherewithal that could have been - for having jaunted a fresh, new, identity through stimulant abuse that many find so compelling; yet many also fail to remit a sustainable [or any some-such] contribution to society, whether it be digital or real-life. For that matter, I find that my schuzotypal self commonly lends it's nature to a more familiar term, in that I perceive it as an augmented reality - one where a person's reputation could « precede » their physical presence. Sometimes the voice {conscience} hanging over the shoulder of the guilty is a partner-in-arms, with the self of such person. 

An argument as towards Traditional American Lifestyle Values in - as of - Pigeon Carnival 'Scrum-up' to-speak-of semiotics-and-semantically tomography nomenclature: TITLE: Of a Pipe-Organ / Calliope tonality model's tomographical significance at [personal, (1 person; alone, at that)] scale: ~An Anecdote~

Significant Concepts to develop:
Scalar Pigeon March-Style Whistling in the Modern Tech Lifestyle Nuclear Self;
an anecdote via an early a.m. walk,
The Greatest Kicks of Futbol,
Juvenile's Slow Motion radio hit (early 2000s),
and Zero Gravity Dancing.
A revelation, a deconstruction, a retrospective on coming to a common middle America post-Silicon Valley Tech Lifestyle Blogger's American iGenerational C-Suite differential identity divergence, in an emergent young adult victim-profiler's pidgy-chicken - as pet - persona, in the anecdotal experience of a young Jay Ammon on a morning's walk;
post-traumatic incidence:correlates to:Obsessive Compulsive Disorder:Abnormal Psychology Research Reports:Variance in Anti-Social Neurological Physiognomy Diagnostic Statistical Variance in a Subject, refs. and long-detail report.


A stub of an abstract blog e-pub publication, as for today; I'll update it tomorrow (Friday) after court. Thanks, viewers, for 52 views today; my best day since I started this blog in April.

On this one [blog, to be ttp;precise(usage)], I'll have got my mind and wits about me; this one's apt to be a personal yet non-indulgent delicacy of Francoise as of pigeons Christian middle American tomography folklorical canonical psychiatric coffee-talk scrum.

*ttp: to the point

Please, consider not solely-simply idle-clicking on my advertising patron's ad marketing efforts, but following through with some novel interest support (kitsch-slant realism, I'm sorry), yet I would hope that the intelligence baseline establishment of the truly-calibrated-curated threshold of valid relevance "tech and lifestyle" blog would inspire a belief, in others, as I would aspire to believe, for myself: that the content value and distinction therein of the qualitative and development-driven inspiration for producing such output would lend itself valuations-payoffs in genuinely purchasable ad marketing click-through buyer persona par-relevance mock-up, well enough. 😍


*VARIANCE; as a significant basis STRF#cker name-drop to triple-flush [because it's eating-day] ...

dump butt... 

it's that day of the week, for me. I bought a gallon of milk, and I have no fridge. I rarely fail on that end...

... [the thing that ought to be most commonly visually-self-internally-apparent;] (for me), it was that I first notion would presume that others would have the same image in their head as me, as par-commonality relevance-par-audiahhnce, (francoise) [audience, yet visual-mind apparitionally-becoming, grammatically significant as per past two seconds as towards a truthful coming-to-terms]: I find it is aught to be oftentimes considered to be poor form; the written word, as I publish a particularity discourse,

yet,

I do find an audience, well enough, to parfait my Fontucky Chicken Waffles pigeon waffles-feeding pigeons efforts; to some, "tech and lifestyle blog" is why they arrive on my iPigeon.institute brand-marketing valuation startup blogtastic enterprise on validity variance valid alpha-scrum-up semantical vestiges of what could aught-wise be seenably un-scene-pass-ass-gas as-tastic blog contenting provisions, for a tech-dieting snobby-snot-nosed personae-read-iriae-audibly:hear; visually listenable and, in my opinion, emotionally compelling... stuff,... to be presciocious. (urban dictionary input).



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The Blog:

One of my significant goals in tech'ing out this stated-pigeon carnival au jour al fresco pioneering homestead of urban-and-surrounding Los Angeles, California, is the emphasis on a comprehensive look at what pigeons signify in several merits of validity in terms of this blog.

First of all, [most visibly] the pigeon is a social bird, with our modern days' envisioning of the bird itself as though oft-maligned, yet an austerity symbol of prior civilizations' man-and-bird dependence and reliance upon each other as friend of intelligent design; as the times were [probably] concomitant with Darwin's ideas coming in to the foray, (read more about the British armed forces use of the pigeon at the British Library Blog Online) as is in the case of the use of the pigeon as curated pet and compatriot to days of armed forces' past:today, folklore of racing pigeons in larger established cosmopolitan cities seem, to me, to be common enough to conjecture upon. On that note, the iPigeon domain name brand marketing heraldry, following the original and heretofore pre-established overarching thematic semiotics-relationally correspondent relevance-keeping architecture of this context in the .institute top-level-domain namesake keeping (me, not being one to forsake pre-iterated establishment heraldries of the had-been-established brand name: iPigeon [as concept], in thematic semantical semiotics-contextual-as-par-relevance to the .com of iPigeon (brand name) as established before I came up with the concept [organically], through my own impassioned pursuits and for the sake of the love of the bird.

I hope to not ruffle any feathers. My personal development aims recently, in social media and in my personal recreation and leisure time do feature pigeons as a valid daily destination, yet the context in use here, in this blog, seeks to go beyond the dailies and doings of pigeons about town, and to delve deeper into the relevant scrum of what the pigeon-as-symbol means, from several valence conceptual underpinnings in the greater semiotic contextual bases that might come up in the articles and content I produce on this blog:

• The messenger pigeon
• The racing pigeon
• The sociable bird in daily life in DTLA

This third concept being of variable themes, as conjectural common folklore (at least locally, as such), is that the pigeon is a widely disreputable bird, in that in it's clumsy and oftentimes disorderly pursuit to maintain a stable flock homestead-by-locality - the pigeon, [commonly paired with the much larger and more aggressive scavenger: the seagull] (by contrast) is commonly taken and perceived as a nuisance on account of the ad hoc and likewise commonly ill-fated (as received) social encounter [in the instance] of youth, [perhaps] marveling at the uproar of birds in flight overhead, and the risk of them defecating carelessly from above.

Taken in a more [step-back; austerity] mature view on the topic is the spectacle of the iconic bird-man-feeder-bum: particularly of pigeons (I recall, from a trip from my childhood; up north in California, undoubtedly) and it was a fond memory of family travel and bonding, perhaps an iconic homesteading moment for me, in hearkening a bird-lover-to-be, as I grew up in teenage years, to raise lost-and-rescued lovebirds and other birds such as sparrows, a blue jay; later, a pigeon who was crippled and could not fly. I commemorate this pigeon in my home exhibition as the baby pigeon. He was so cute and affectionate!

That being said, a lover of bird-domesticating husbandry-rescue pursuits would validly attest - there's something particularly to attest-to as towards the innate human spirit in a pursuit that's fulfilled by the loving care for a needful creature.  Call it what you will, yet the love of a baby creature that's been raised by one's own hand: hours, dedication of days upon weeks over years establishes a fulfillment of spiritual life that even a popular saint is recognizable by: there, and for - the love of the small creatures of domestic gardens dating back to monastic establishments in the figure of Saint Francis of Assisi, notable in art history most commonly by the characteristic communal oneness amongst nature - the squirrels and the birds. The pigeon has deep roots in the close-knit society of man's inner peace to the point of religious symbology that's been overseen by the highest authorities on Christian religious decrees and remembrances. We remember Saint Francis of Assisi commonly in Western Art history. I recall seeing his statuary at MacArthur Park, nearby, and at the DTLA hospital off of Grand Ave, by the 10 Freeway.  He is a symbol of the spiritual need to commune with nature, as humans, and he fulfills a quiet austere position in claiming stakes upon the medical field. 

Caring affectionately for a loved one stimulates oxytocin, a natural mood enhancer.  The pigeon is an intrinsic sociable call to interpret literally, aficionados would have it - in establishing true aficionado scene claimstaking thereof: hearking the pigeon in finery pursuit and in excellence of husbandry in the racing pigeon brand marketing schema - that being the iPigeon name.