Talk about road rage: this vehicle showed up just around the corner from my home. Man, oh, man. The things that must be going on while I’m out feeding the pigeons, I can’t imagine.
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Saturday, December 4
Tuesday, August 17
I have borderline people in my head, back at home.
People who know me, of my recent mockup self, know that I toe a contentious line about my narcissism, being that there are a couple, or so, variants of narcissism, and even at that, given "whatever," about this guy, or that, and we're all sufferers of the same ailment, to some degree; yet each of us would prefer our own brand, of things, when it comes to who's personality traits, and ideations, etc. end up being the more fruitful and attractive persona in society.
The textbook Narcissism spectrum is a 5-step set of distinctions in depravity, or misfortune, as it were, pinioned about the topic spectre of Narcissism (to reiterate) at issue. It begins with ...
Well, I don't remember. But there's grandiosity, delusions of grandeur, borderline personality disorder, as the middle trait, then psychopathy, and lastly, paranoid schizophrenia, as the final trait that defined the narcissist, and their inevitable outcome, with the psychiatric industry.
No? This is a poor topic, for some, or, in some regards. Yet, I constantly deal and cope with a reality of having to accommodate people who destroy any semblance of a proper relationship that had been established, whereas those moments seem to have lost importance, for the person. People had been working overtime, and at all hours, trying to offer in a therapeutic approach, to no avail. Heartbreaking attitudes, sadistic fantasies, and many various sorts of care to abuse people, from a networked and arbitrarily tangential outlook and outset, from the core identity of a single victim; finding casualties in innocent bystanders, friends, relatives, etc.
That's all I'll say; just my input, as to acknowledge that it's still going on, on this day.
Friday, March 26
Adapting Virtues of Asian Heritage and Culture in to our American Concepts of Progress, in Conflict Resolution. [stub]
Of the various Buddhist cultural heritages, in which I (off-handedly) identify three distinctions that make their way through and in to the modern day: Japanese meditative and chanting style of Buddhism, Chinese form, largely unknown to me, although the fat seated man, "full of riches of life," so to speak, as a prominent Chinese figurative symbol that makes it's way in to knick knacks of cultural commodities, say, for example, in Chinatown sorts of storefront offerings of cultural effects; the third variant being the various cultural and religious lineages of Buddhism of the South Asian Subcontinent of India and nearby Pakistan, Tibet, and perhaps Nepal (Nepal being correlated due to my encounters with the nation being associated in cuisine, not that I've identified them as a formerly Buddhist culture).
According to Pew Forum, which is America's statistics resource in expertise, and authority, in my summation, Buddhist influences take us, as more youthful sorts, in studying religions and cultures that had existed, or do exist, outside of our nation's boundaries.
Being that, in former generations, such as in the days of the hippies, cultural influences such as Buddhism became popular; also of that the psychedelic public relations and iconic figures from that time, such as Terrence McKenna, Alexander Shulgin, and Timothy Leary - either extensibly, tangentially, semantically, or directly - these figures and their influence contributed, largely, to a cultural facet, standing to this day, in our youth generations, as it stands, as that the influences of cultural and religious Buddhism are part of our cultural heritage which emerges from that transformational age in our society: the 60's, which I haven't studied, much, but I've had the good fortune to have had become acquainted with some of these folks, as Buddhists, themselves, in part; personally, such that I feel I can offer some anecdotal insights and first-hand accounts of what fed us, culturally, back then, and which sows seeds of influence and impact upon us, to this day, and that it should stand, as such, that other nations of our global community had been founded, in former centuries, in Buddhist cultural and religious beliefs and practices, and that we, here, in America, have inclusive virtues of our nation, in the study and assimilation of all the nations of the world, in a friendly nature, should we not be offended by the truths and cultures of other countries and their people.
For example, (I'll make it quick, for now), I went out and lived as a homeless man, this past week, and it was many ways, shapes, and forms tough, but I did it in the name of non-aggression, which I'd been exposed to, of many various takes on the subject; various suggestions about takes on things; some of which I'd identified with, some courageous, some of it disinformation, some shortcomings in life, of my own doing, and consequence, and some ego that showed up - many things thrown at me, to suggest, of a formative self and decisiveness to come forth, from out of it.
As it turned out, I was, here and there, simply deceived, by intelligence. I suppose that that's simply my place, in life, being a civilian, and for my shortcoming of desiring violence and it's outcomes, upon others, rather than that I was simply capable in changing a man, who I take issue with, for having been unclean. Now, just as reference, I feel that Christian virtues largely come first, in America, whereas these Buddhist virtues of non-attachment and humility (put simply), are things that we learn, after our secondary school days, when we pursue our own interests and novel influences. Given that, I have a huge set of ethical constraints upon myself, and it's challenging for me to be placed so nearby a challenging individual, of an unlearned and aggressive sort.
People see me as that I ought to, and ought be considered to be a man; fortunate, and capable, for having been fortunate, of not finding myself deluded or judgmental over others, in any American virtue, brought forth, in to the common latest day of our times. For not having much communications with the man, I'd been fraught with dilemma and delusions over him. As it turns out, he's currently as unwell as I'd seen of what I witnessed of him, at his last stand sort, of himself; he himself, purportedly leaving, yet this quandary was lobbed at me, while I myself left home: who is he, of what I can ascertain, truthfully, and how much am I being deluded? What if he was a better person than what I'd been willing to offer him, and for not "liking" him, for who he is, and what he's good for, how faulty might I be?
Now, in general, I hold to the belief that a person is generally who they are, for their own reasons and best interests, and by and large, many people are good. About a third of us, from stats of my upbringing, are Christian, and some of them lackluster in that facet of themselves, in learning and in discipline. Many of us lead a fast life, so to speak. I'm faulty of my appearance, in being a narcissist, yet I somewhat "demand" respect, through dressing well, yet it's not all that serious, with everyone, and I do play around, at times, as an out and about transvestite. I won't go in to that, now, but these things merit some coverage.
So it turned out that I was deluded about the young man, as I came home, and someone even more bum than himself seemed to have been shipped in, and taken his spot. As it ends up, he is still there, and still stricken with unwellness, same as I'd last observed of him, when he was purportedly leaving, for good.
That's all I'll say, for now. But I'll leave with this offering: non-aggression méthodes, amongst us, as civilians, lead to heroic outcomes, at some times in life, and we're given many virtuous things of aesthetics from these cultures, as well as cultural virtues that we can adopt, for our own.
Sunday, July 12
July 11th in Los Angeles, CA - Civil Unrest on the Streets Leads to Near Rioting Effects.
Now, granted - I don't particularly know or believe [completely] what truthfully transpires in a location outside of my sensory perception; stark and vigilant that I may be, at times.
I trust the news organizations and subsequent articles that get fed to me, through articles and media outlets,
at least as much as they fulfill my inherent fearful primordial mind.
I couldn't deny that police officers and law enforcement have it rough in Los Angeles, in general rhetorical imaginations of what they face, in opposition; and so much of it mobilized and willingly militant, of the various terrorist cells that they are, in and of: essentially, that they fare brutality and innocent casualties as their modus d'operandi, however generally lacking in intellectual merit and statutory form of reasoning, that it stands to be, given a talking to, nowadays (even still), and for what they sacrifice in public relations for taking such short-sighted approach to their public relations vehicles.
Now, on that note, I sometimes find myself talked in to a vigilant cautious modality of transporting my self, and my carriage, of which, in my most-latest refactoring of consideration (of what I might be, and appear as such, to the public's eye, for scrutiny - this is DTLA and greater Los Angeles, California; that being said. There are sensitive tastes and finicky appetites at stake, on the much-as-for-the-(largely)-unsupposed side of the schtick, for many of us, young ones - particularly as that we had grown up in imperfect settings, and had been subjected to nurturing environmental sleights and abuses, rendering many a sort, out there, predisposed to a mutiny, so to speak, on this ship that is the vehicle of our lives - rhetorically speaking: we live in America. We've known it, from our upbringing, or from hearsay, or propaganda - be it as depravity's siren call, that it might, in becoming - on deeper considerations - some people do take advantage, of a slight and subjective bias foundation, ignoring the bigger picture, of consequences - sometimes: I'd say that sometimes, people simply choose to injure the lesser formidable primitivistic victims, of an opportunistic | misfortunate circumspect in dynamic relation to each other.
- wary and unwilling to take risks."the officials were very circumspect in their statements"Similar:cautious
wary
careful
chary
guarded
on one's guard
Today,
(as it turns out)
I had just stayed up all night. Now it's the morning. I'm blogging the report, for the insider prospectus replete and formidable news drop sequester - the final word, on the street, somewhat, as far as the scrum of last night.
on some level, okay.
I did do the actually, of an actual day and night in passing.
Sunday, March 29
Wednesday night - an iPigeon « peeped out » wandering about DTLA; an uncommon demographic to appear in the area; inevitably, I have to sleep, at some point.
I remember the imagery of the persona | man who had stalked me in Santa Monica, detailing, from the time at the crosswalk stop light, throughout the crossing of the street - of that he had pinned me as a targeted subject of study, prior to meeting me; yet here, thankfully, the man presented himself as a woe-stricken, conciliatory, and repentant individual, having been in incarceration, (conceivably), with our interaction leading him there, whereupon we parted ways - the police officer succinctly had told me to "go that way," which was the opposite of where the suspect had been scooched over, on to the sidewalk; the police cruiser separating myself and him. I went to the Santa Monica Police Headquarters, as I had originally been directed to do, when I called 911. (The man continued to follow me, as I was on my way there. He spoke of things, such as "how about we commit some crimes together?" - which I felt was overly seedy and seditious in nature; in addition, he seemed to be aggressively in disavowal of a common space between us, from the moment I observed him - staring at me, wearing sunglasses, whereas he spoke of and at me with familiarity, and he seemed set on acquiring some trinket or token of my person, with this as the outset, of what might have been a different sort of acquaintanceship, otherwise.
Yet, here, in his desperate recants of his behavior, and of the people who had enticed his vulnerable-state self with notions of some notions of that "of on homie," for it's seditious and capricious nature; for it's formative declarations of sedition and caprice - novel, to some; mindlessly irresolute, though, I'd say. Yet seemingly (and easily) hundreds, if not thousands, of same such-wise formative individuals seemed out in staunch force, in Downtown Los Angeles, as I attempted to sleep through the night next to a Metro rail station by Staples Center, and the Convention Center, in a parking lot. A drunken man, otherwise sociable, flaunted features of that I could not help but not sleep, for his ministrations, of a decidedly Latino etymology - his pidgins, which were threatening and ominous in nature, as well as [perhaps] grandiose, in that he seemed to believe, (or have tactical awareness of my positioning, and travails, leading up to "parking it," at the parking lot, where I imagined that others (losers, perhaps, like myself, I might similarly have seemed), yet -
Even the children we're fraught with problematic behavioral conditions - on one hand, they were older, for that age that they obviously were, audibly, as youthful teenagers, or was it that they had simply been of the age to receive oppositional-defiant personality disorder, their forebears, as well, and that none of them, of the conditional of, of the affiliation to "of on homie," the gang, whereas it's simply a bit troubling, in that some of them present themselves as kind, charitable, and sociably well-to-do, and just earlier that day, with me, in fact.
The problem is, is that these "of on homie" behaviors and mannerisms are imbued in to subjects wittingly, and with effort; whereas the man who had stalked me was one to recant, and rebuke: the affiliation, the lies, the impropriety of the flimsy institutional underpinnings of the organization, whereas many others were | are treated with caution, for showing up, in the general public, on a Wednesday night, me, being one known, and self-aware individual-as-targeted-victim, some various other errata of things that perceivably went on, during the course of such an influx of revelers, of the Wednesday night, that it was, whereas there must | ought to be some compromise, in solution to the obviated problems, of that they were, many of them: disheveled, not well-assertively-bespoken, of the words that they would say, some of them gay, or seditiously so. Had I posted my other blog on "some guy" on the morning of this Wednesday? I believe so. He pulled some sorry drunken gay guy stuff on me; it made me think on Covid-19 social distancing demands, that (supposedly) everyone would have caught wind of, or at least have noticed, out in society, of that « something » was amiss.
In any case, that was this passing Wednesday, March 25th, on my end.
Thursday, March 5
Fleeing the iPigeon nest of home, once again.
Friday, February 21
A rough and tumble Valentine’s Day Weekend.
This had been, undoubtedly, a Valentine’s Day Weekend of much-peaceful rest-seeking to follow that would have been seen.
That being said, I won’t gloat over the highlights and enumerations; I guess that we all came out of it bruised and sore, like it were an erstwhile trip to Holland, and we were ill-fated of our southern California dress clothing, such that we found ourselves out in the cold. I’m not sure what anyone else, of my peers, did, for the holiday, but I’ll divulge that I was much up for the celebratory part in participation, be it what it may or could be, such that I could make of it, although I ended up not going out in my unicorn cosplay outfit, and I ended up talking our heads off, ending up trying to salvage what I could of some spirit of grounding sensibilities that we could all relate to; that we’d all have had about ourselves, yet the spirit of romanticism, amidst this modern day dirge of materialism, and social status stakes of one-upmanship were highly touted distraction events, and I suppose that, of any of us involved, we were all slight to lose our proper and appropriate selves, in the flurry, and the cold.
Saturday, October 20
A hungry pigeon carnival Blogger™ site developer trawls around DTLA and pedhayps up Wilshire for some food and recyclables
Monday, May 14
May 13th 2018 Happy Mother’s Day! + 8 hour writing about recent stuff of the past week
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Pigeon chat, with ChatGPT (12/22/2024)
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